i cry || doil (drabble)

1/1

doyoung loves taeil so much & he has for a long time. is it love love though?

they've been together for around 8 months, going strong as their friends liked to put it. it just doesn't feel natural to doyoung anymore, like he has to force himself to be affectionate with taeil. he used to be unable of going a half hour without talking to or thinking of taeil & now he finds himself most comfortable in the silence, content with not speaking to the elder for days, taeil not even once crossing him mind. that's not to say he didn't miss taeil he just-

he just doesn't crave for taeil in the ways he used to. even before they started dating.

you see, taeil & doyoung had known each other basically forever, they'd always been close & before making things official, doyoung has been head over heels for years, wallowing in self pity as taeil got into relationships though far & in between.

doyoung's only been in 3 relationships if you didn't count taeil, the longest out of those being a 4 month long distance relationship with a boy from thailand & it hadn't ended well. the boy, ten, didn't even tell him directly things were over, choosing to make a mutual friend named jaehyun break the news to doyoung the day after & then block him on everything.

he's been told maybe he just has commitment issues but that didn't really feel like it. he just didn't understand how he felt anymore & it was tearing him apart, eating away at his mind 24/7, a never ending shout at him that something was wrong with him.

taeil deserved the world. doyoung cherished him, after years & years of friendship how could he not? taeil had seen him at his worst & helped him reach his best which made all this the more confusing & stressful.

doyoung would often find himself up at 1 am trying to figure out why he felt this way. didn't he love taeil? of course, taeil was the best relationship he'd ever had & meant so much to him. doyoung loved taeil & it wasn't a lie.

he just didn't know if he was in love with taeil anymore.