All I want to do now is hold you tight and never let go. I can't remember the last time I was in your arms and the feeling you gave me was warm and safe. It's been a couple of months since you left me and each day that passes I can't seem to forget you. I remember how it all began, to the way it escalated, and the ending of it all. How?? We were so happy and in love. We would have sleepless nights of conversations. Every time you smiled it would make me smile. When you hugged me all I heard coming from your mouth was "I love you." I was afraid to give you everything but somehow you shook that away. You said I was your best girl and it was us against the world. I never thought that I would have to worry about your returning first love because I trusted you with my heart. Every day was amazing until I found the lies and the hidden secrets. You let me down, " I think it's best for the both of us to split darlin." The trip back home was long and horrible, I cried on the bus. When I got home, I entered my room and looked at my bed full of stuffed animals all with value. I couldn't take this heart break I cried and yelled, I cursed at the wind and took one good look at myself. "You are stupid, you are annoying, and gross this is why no one ever stays." I didn't sleep for days and I ate little to nothing at all at times. I felt dead inside. I blamed myself because you left me. I began to notice every flaw in my body. I hated myself because of you. I couldn't imagine life with out you, I couldn't breathe without you. I was full of anxiety. I tried praying for you to come back to me. Why can't you just run away with me where nothing and no one will intervene. I'm sorry...Im sorry because I wasn't enough for you. I'm sorry because I'm not her. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the one for you. I'm sorry because I don't have the body nor the looks that you'd love to have. I'm sorry that I couldn't be what you wanted. I'm sorry...It hurts to see you happier than before. It hurts to know that you're out there touching and pleasuring someone else. It's hurts to know that you aren't destined to be with me. It hurts to know that you're out there doing things you did with me, with someone else. Why?... you promised me the world and the moon and the stars. How?? How was I so stupid to give you all that I had. Where? Where did we go wrong. When? When did it ever occur to me that you'd be with me for all eternity. What? What now? What happens after this? What will become of me.? I hate that I became so dependable of you. I hate that I feel this way now and it is all because of you. It is because Of you that I am awake at night. It's you who keeps invading my thoughts drowning every single memory of happiness and leaving them for dead. It's you I can't keep out of my heart because you own it all. You...You will always be a lesson to me. Even if in life at some point I thought you were my biggest blessing, you. You will always be a reminder of what to avoid the rest of my life so that I wouldn't be left for dead only to see someone else fall in the hands of another.
