It was my first year in high school as I sat in my English Class. People were very busy talking. The teacher was not even teaching because he was also busy sharing his love story without minding what his students were doing. Some of the lovers listened, but many were not listening, but honestly, I listened because I was in the state of being inspired by my seatmate. I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called ?best friend?. I stared at her long, silky hair and wished she was mine. She didn?t notice me. She didn?t even feel that I was in love with her and I knew it. After class, she walked and approached me for the notes she had missed the day before. I handed them to her with a big smile and she gave me a kiss on the cheek which made me more inspired to do good acts. I wanted to tell her that I fell in love with her. I wanted her to know that I didn?t want to be just friends with her. I loved her but I was too shy and I DIDN?T KNOW WHY.
A year had passed, my sophomore life came. I was in my room studying for my long quiz in English Literature. We were given 10 pages of short bond papers to be studied. It was hard for me to concentrate because I was in love. The phone rang. I was shocked because it was my first time to receive a call at one in the morning. She was the girl to whom I lent my notes when I was still first year high school. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her lover broke her heart. She asked me to come over in her house because she didn?t want to be alone, so I did. Even though I was still sleepy and studying, I still decided to come because I am not used to see her crying. All I wanted was to comfort her. When I arrived, she opened the gate and welcomed me as her eyes were in tears. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After two hours of talking to her, she looked at me and said ?thank you? and she gave me a kiss for the second time on the cheek. I wanted to let her know about my feelings for her. I wanted her to know that I didn?t want to be merely a friend to her. I loved her but I was just too shy to tell and I DIDN?T KNOW WHY.
Oh! It was my senior life. I knew that I needed to focus because after this, my life will tackle a new journey, but I was still in love with her. One fine day, she walked towards my locker. ?My date is sick?, she said,? he will not go?. Well, I didn?t have a date and in my sixth grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together as ?best friends?. So we did. That morning, after everything was over, I was standing beside her at the cafeteria. I stared at her as she smiled at me, then she said ?I had the best time, thank you!? and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her the feelings I had for her. I wanted her to know that I didn?t want to be just friends with her. I loved her, but I was just too shy and I DIDN?T KNOW WHY.
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was our graduation day. After ten minutes of waiting, finally the program started. I was very excited because I wanted to see her walk along the red carpet to get her diploma on the stage. When her name was called, I looked at her as her perfect body floated like an angel. As she walked, I wished she would be mine, but she didn?t feel the same way, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her tightly. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said ?You are my best friend, thank you for everything!? and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to let her feel that I loved her so much. I wanted her to know that I didn?t want to be just friends with her. I wanted her to be mine. I loved her, but I was just too shy and I DIDN?T KNOW WHY.
It was one of the most important days of her life, her wedding day. I sat in the pews of the church. That girl was getting married and drove off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted to cry because one of my greatest dreams was gone. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn?t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away with her lucky husband, she came to me and said ?you came!? she said ?thank you best friend!? and kissed me on the cheek. I wanted to let her know what actually my feelings for her were. I wanted her to know that I don?t want to be just friends with her. I loved her, but I was just too shy and I DIDN?T KNOW WHY.
Years passed, it was one of my saddest days ever, her death. I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to borrow my notes every time she got tired of copying the lectures on the board, who used to kiss me on my cheeks every time I helped her, who used to call me every time she had heart breaks and especially used to be my ?best friend?. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This was read:
I stared at him wishing he was mine,
But he didn?t notice me, and I knew it.
I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to know that,
I didn?t just want to be friends with him,
I loved him but I was just too shy, and
I DIDN?T KNOW WHY.
I wished he would tell me he loved me!
I wished I did too.
I paused for a moment when I heard those words then, I looked down and cried. ?People on earth only live once. If I was only brave enough to tell what my feelings for her were, then things won?t go as worst as this. I loved her very much.? ----- These were the thoughts that I told to myself. I DIDN?T KNOW WHY she left me. I DIDN?T KNOW WHY things should be planned this way. All I knew was that, I loved her and she loved me, but she didn?t know that I just don?t want to be
friends with her because knowing that she died. She didn?t know that I want her to be mine. She didn?t know that I was the saddest person when she vanished in this world. What was important was that, in heaven, she knew that all things were planned greatly for her. But still I DIDN?T KNOW WHY she left me.
