The Journey That Is Life; A Teenage Perspective

Chapter 28- Now Ya Know

   I needed to clear the air and tell my friends why I have been acting odd, I don't want to lie and say I have cancer, because I haven't been professionally diagnosed yet. I did diagnose myself after all the symptoms were met. The numbness in half my body, the problems I'm having with my memory, the way I’ve been talking differently, whatever I eat doesn't stay down, and when I wake up, it's like I partied hard the night before. I just don't like it. The only things that have been making me happy lately are the small meaningless messages I get from Oliver.

     I've been in and out of the doctors for weeks now, waiting a time where I can have some test just to tell me what’s wrong with me. I'm not the strongest person physically, and this isn't helping one bit. Skipping school days being sick is common now, and today is just another one of those days. Lying in my bed, finding patterns on the ceiling. I heard my phone ring, it took me a second to find it, and Sully's name lit up my phone, I managed a smile, and answered the phone.

     "Hey Sul." I said, weary.

     "Maddi! Where have you been, girl." He said loudly. Loud enough i had to pull my phone away from my face.

     "Sick. I've been sick."           

     "With what?"

     "Not sure yet."

     "Oh how you confuse me so. I'm coming over." He said, I heard a door shut from his line, so I don't think I would be able to stop him by now, but I tried.

     "No I look like Satan’s son."

     "Oh well, I'm already on my way over." He said, and hanging up the phone, I let out a sigh, and managed to get out of bed, stumbling over my own feet. I made my way into the washroom to quickly clean up. I stayed in my comfy clothes, nothing he hasn't seen before, but put a little bit of make up on. Soon enough I heard the doorbell ring, and I walked to open the door. "Surprise!" he yelled, but he wasn't the only one standing there. Luke on his left, and Zoë on his right. I smiled a real smile, and invited them inside.

     "It isn't contagious is it?" Luke asked, smirking. I shook my head and laughed, I sat them in my living room, as I excused myself. I took some painkillers, more than I should, downed them with water, and walked back as if nothing happened. We talked about school gossip, but worse came to worse and the spotlight appeared on me and I was asked what’s wrong.

     I could've lied easily. Saying I was depressed, suicidal and I was scared to leave the house because I didn’t trust myself, or I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and I was scared to leave the house because I saw things that weren't there. Possibilities of lies scattered through my head really quickly, but I couldn’t pick one fast enough as all that came out of my mouth was, "I'm sick." They all gave me this look, as if they weren't buying it. So I started to open up, "Well if I was wearing less make up, I guess you would believe me." I said, looking straight at Zoë. She examined me and probably saw through my tricks, she knows how makeup works.

     "You don't have to tell us if you don't want you, we just wanted to say that we do actually care about you, and we want to help." Luke said, getting out of his chair and walking over to me, he sat beside me, and put his arm around me. I leaned into him a little bit, but not enough to make the other two in the room uncomfortable. I don't think they'd be able to help me out physically unless they can perform Biopsy's. But maybe them being there for me would help a lot with the way I’ve been starting to think about myself.

    I started to explain myself, not missing any details, making sure they promised not to repeat any of it, at first no one believed me, but I kept going and saying how I was feeling they started to look hurt; More like scared, scared that they'll lose me? But I explained how it could still be something else non-cancerous and that they shouldn’t be scared, as I was strong. Zoë’s face looked hurt, but as for Luke and Sully they looked almost as if they didn’t believe me still, they all came in as a group hug, and I felt almost too special.