The BITCH and the NERD

Bitchy 9

"Class Dismiss"

As soon as the teacher announced the class dismissal, I hurriedly walk my way out when I heard her call me.

"Angelica. Teka Angelica!" Tawag niya sakin kaya huminto ako malapit sa pinto at tumingin sa kanya.

"What? Do you have any concern with me Nerd?" I asked innocently when I felt my phone in my pants vibrated so I answered the call.

"Hello Honey! I am almost there. Where are you na ba? Don't make me wait okay? You know me when I'm mad." Tuloy-tuloy kong salita habang nakaharap pa rin kay Nerd na parang nabigla.

"Easy Angel. I'm already here. Hurry up okay? But still be careful. I love you!!!"
Ooops. I forgot, naka loudpeaker pala tong phone ko kaya narinig ni Nerd ang sinabi ng boyfriend ko.

"I love you too. Ciao." Paalam ko dito tsaka nakangiting tumingin kay Nerd.

"What were you saying Nerd?" Tanong ko sa naka poker face na naman na Nerd na nasa harap ko.

"You... have a boyfriend." She said or should I say she concluded from the convo she heard awhile ago.

"Why? I thought..." pahayag niya na hindi madugtungan kung ano pa ang sasabihin.

"Well, newsflash Nerd. You're a year late already. Makibalita ka naman kasi sa 'dati' mong kaklase. Sige, babush." Nakangiti ko paring sabi dito at tumalikod na para paalis.

Pero hinawakan niya ang kamay ko kaya napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Get your hands away from me Nerd. My 'boyfriend' is waiting for me." Madiin kong pahayag na kinabitaw naman nito. Nginitian ko muna ito bago tumalikod muli para umalis na. This time she didn't stop me.

Nabura ang ngiti mula sa mga labi ko habang naglalakad palayo na ako sa kanya. I can feel my body shaking from so much anger.

How dare her approach me like nothing happened!

How dare her for making me feel so confused because of what we had before!

Gosh, I hate her so much... but I hate myself more for feeling so affected. For feeling it again.

For being happy to see her again. I really really hate myself.

Get a grip of yourself Angelica. You have a boyfriend already and you should stick with your decision before. To completely get rid of her from your life.

Mahina kong asik sa sarili ko. Bahagya pa kong na guilty ng masulyapan ko na ang pwesto kung saan nakatayo si Richard, Chad's twin fraternal brother.

Isa sa dahilan kung bakit huminto si Chad sa panliligaw sakin ay nung bumalik si Richard o Chard. Alam kasi nito na si Chard talaga ang mas gusto ko sa kanilang dalawa mula pa noon. Kaya lang umalis si Chard papuntang London kaya naging close din kaming dalawa.

Hindi naman sa ginawa kong rebound si Chad pero feeling ko kasi noon kapag kasama ko siya, kasama ko narin si Chard.

At ngayon nga nangyari lang si Nerd sa buhay ko ay parang nawala lahat ng pangulila ko kay Chard. Pero kasi matapos ng masakit na nangyari sakin dahil kay Nerd ay napagtanto kong kailangan ko ng itigil at kalimutan lahat ng nangyari samin.

Lahat ng masasaya at lahat ng masasakait na ala ala ko sa kanya. I have to move on and this time for real.

I don't need any closure from Nerd because in the first place we didn't have any label.

Besides I don't want to hurt Chard again, the way I unconsciously hurt him whenever I thought of Nerd before.

"How was your day?" He immediately opened the car door after he asked me that sweet question.

"I was bored. You know naman na hindi ako napapakali kapag walang ginagawang iba." I said as I kissed his cheeks before entering the car.

"Wanna go shopping?" He asked as he started the engine.

"Nah, I know you're tired from being your father's assistant. I'm also tired from today so just wanna go home."

"But I wanna date you." Pabiro nitong reklamo na kinatawa ko naman. When I'm really with him, there are no dull moments.

"Tomorrow. It's a date." I promised him as I was smiling while looking at his happy face.

"Promise?" Parang bata nitong tanong

"Promise." Mahina kong sabi dito tsaka inayos ang pagkakaupo para umidlip muna.

"I love you." Biglang sabi nito na kinagulat ko.

"I... I love you too..." I silently said, not sure if he was convinced coz I myself isn't. But I guess he's not.

"I told you I will wait right?" He stated as he stopped the car and sighed.

"I know. I know that what we had is arranged. Having this boyfriend-girlfriend thingy was never your choice since we were only betrothed. But can you please be honest with your feelings? I'll really appreciate it."

Dugtong niya pa habang parang nagmamakaawang nakatingin sakin kaya nilihis ko ang paningin ko sa kanya at tumingin sa labas.

"Is it because of that person from the past? Are you still not over him?"

Kahit hindi ko siya tingnan ay alam kong nasasaktan siya mismo sa mga sinasabi niya. Kung ako siguro siya baka tinigil ko na lahat.

If only you knew Chard, its not a 'him'. Its a 'her'.

"I know I told you before that I won't ask you about what happened or how was your relationship with him before. I told you I will wait...wait till you tell me." Mahinahong pahayag nito

Dahil sa sinabi nito ay bahagya pa akong napaayos ng upo at tumingin sa kanya. Sa mga mata niya. Ng makita ko namang okay lang na sabihun ko sa kanya ay pumikit muna ko at bumuntong-hininga.

"That person is back." Sabi ko at unti-unting dinilat ang mga mata para tingnan siya. Gusto ko nalang mapamura ng hindi siya makatingin sakin at humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa manibela.

"I see." Mahinahon paring ani nito habang yumuyuko.

Dahil sa narinig ko ay para akong nagalit. Gusto kong magwala. Gusto kong magtanong.

"Why? Why are you like that? Why Chard? I fucking wanna know why? Bakit hindi mo ko sinusumbatan? I want answers. You're my boyfriend so you have your rights. But... but you're acting like its nothing. At masakit yun Chard coz I know you're not fine with it. Na nasasaktan na kita. I'm not worth your all." Nanghihina kong pahayag tsaka pinipilit ko siyang abutin at hawakan ang kanyang kamay pero hindi ko matuloy.

I'm so sorry Chard. Really really sorry. I'll really make up to you this time.

"Look at me Chard." I commanded as I guided his head towards my direction and I almost hurt myself because his eyes is mirrors pain.

"You.are.my.boyfriend. Betrothed or not, I am your girlfriend so please be honest with me about what you  feel. If I did something that upsets you just, just approach me. Because I don't want you hurt like the way I am before coz I know how it feels. Okay?" Sabi ko na kinatango naman nito.

"I'm such a gay." Natatawang sabi nito at hinawakan ang kamay kong nakahawak pa rin sa mukha niya.

"Thank you. Thank you for being honest. How I wish it will be too soon." Pabulong na wika nito.

Hindi ko man naintindihan ang sinabi nito ay ngumiti nalang ako at niyakap siya.

I am really thankful that when I was so down, Chard was there for me.

I wish I'll fall inlove with you again Chard, just like before.