Sincerely, Alex Lozano

Letter #102

A/N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoy my new story! The idea came to me recently and I thought it'd make for a really great story. The format is not a typical format story as you'll see, so bear with me. I think you'll love reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it so far!

Dear Dean of Admissions of the glorious and distinguished Emerson College,

I just have one thing to say. I can explain.

Okay, scratch that. I actually have several more things to say, but I need you to please just hear me out.

Was I possibly wrong to think that masquerading as a gay man for my senior year of high school would not somehow bite me in the butt? Maybe. I can admit that I was a bit naive in that regard. But my intentions were pure. I was going to write the greatest think piece in the history of the Graham High Herald, heck in the history of any high school newspaper ever.

I was going to run a thought-provoking social experiment and do a big reveal at the end of the year, shocking everyone and helping to break down barriers and tackle bullying of LGBT youth in today's society in the process. But most of all, I wanted to provide insight on just how much of someone's life actually is affected simply by identifying as gay.

To be honest, at first I didn't really think it'd change my life all that much. I mean most kids at my school already assumed I was gay- and rightfully so. In my 17 years circling around the sun, I'd only ever kissed one girl- and it was only because she'd been dared to do it during a game of Truth-or-Dare in the eighth grade.

I was lanky and awkward, becoming a stuttering mess whenever I had to so much as order a drink at my favorite coffee shop in town, Pat's Coffee, when Lina Moreau-aka one of the most popular girls in school and the girl who held the title of being my aforementioned first kiss- was working.

It also didn't help that my one and only friend, Darren Michaels, was also a social pariah that girls tended to steer clear of, meaning the two of us were often spotted alone and together around campus. It also didn't help even more that he'd saddled me with the girl half of several couples' costumes when we cosplayed for different conventions due to my skinnier build.

So as you see dear Dean, the only thing I had going for me when I began this little experiment was my school paper- the Graham High Herald. I had poured all of my love that went unwanted by the opposite sex into this paper, this marking the third consecutive year I was designated editor-in-chief. This thing was my baby, and I wasn't going to just up and leave it at the end of senior year without a bang, for lack of a better word. Which is what led me to come up with the marvelous idea to perform this social experiment in the first place. Well that, and that high school senior who got a publishing deal from Simon and Schuster for pretending to be pregnant for her senior project. Pretending to be gay was honestly just the closest thing I could come up with to the male equivalent of her social experiment; how in the world was I to know that some people would find it offensive?

Now, after reading all about my straight man privilege and getting berated for my insensitivity and for my insult to the gay community, I know where I went wrong. But I swear I wasn't trying to make a mockery of the struggles faced by members of the gay community in any way, Dean, I need you to understand that.

And you see Dean of Admissions, for you to really understand, I have to take you back. Back before I knew any of this, back before any of this had even happened, back when I was still simply Alex Lozano- invisible to my school's student body in nearly every regard.

Back to the very first letter I ever wrote you, which has now admittedly become one of many  letters stacked in a well-sized pile at the side of my bed that I never had the guts to actually mail out until today. Back to last August, when all of this began.

Sincerely,

Alex Lozano

P.S.  I apologize for any missing or half-finished letters; some were too hastily scrawled and illegible that they had to be abandoned along the way and some didn't even make it into an envelope in my writer's frustration. 

P.S.S.  It goes without saying but please read these in the order they're arranged in, dear Dean of Admissions of Emerson College, so that it all makes a little more sense. Thank you in advance!

A/N: Alrightie, that's it for now! I hope you guys enjoyed. Please let me know what you think of the first chapter/letter in a comment and make sure to like the chapter to let me know you liked it! Be back soon with the next letter!