RAMBLINGS

respite

If there is one thing that people around Albus know more than he does, it is that he is almost always right.

Elphias is of course the first to find out. He's forced to accept that little fact about Albus quite early on, and if he really scratches his head as to exactly when, he'll know that Albus had always been brilliant and it was indicative since the moment he had first stepped into Hogwarts.

Deep down, Elphias is sure that even Albus knows but he is also sure that he would never rub that fact in people's face if he could.

The first five years at Hogwarts seem fine but he is a growing boy after all and it's only time he begins to resent Albus for something that is not even his fault.

It's hard, really, to blame a teenage boy with raging hormones.

"I don't know what I could possibly say to you to make you less angry but I'm sure that I haven't done anything too extreme for you to not talk to me," Albus says, standing near his four poster in his six foot frame, eyes twinkling even in frustration, and waiting patiently for Elphias to speak.

Elphias simply glares at him. He has so much, so much, he wants to say but all that he does is open and close his mouth in close succession.

His thoughts are all a mess – the beautiful Katherine Hepball, kissing, turkey roast, cigarette smoke and Albus himself. He pulls his hair with both hands but the very next moment his hands are in someone else's. Albus had stopped him.

"Just tell me what's wrong," says Albus, with voice soft and eyes sincere.

"It's just- Katherine Hepball and she....you know, never mind," he says, turning away from him. He wonders how can he say something that he can barely understand himself?

"This is about Katherine?" says Albus, in an unusually high voice. Elphias knows he's touched a spot but he has to tell him, otherwise he might never do so again.

"Yeah. I told you, I know I did. She's important to me Albus, and you—she barely looks at me when you're around. Do you fancy her?" he finally says, not quite able to get the message across but he waits, he needs to know. He needs to know before he lays his heart bare for him.

He's scared to look at him too, into his eyes specially, so he stays showing his back. He would glance at him, into his bright blue eyes, and all would be lost.

"Elphias," he says. "I've told you previously. I have no interest in Katherine other than helping her affliction towards Potions."

"Please Albus, she knew that you would only talk to her if she has a problem in our course work," he says.

At this, he laughs. "You know that's not true El." He smiles, he's always loved it when Albus calls him that. Even if he's slightly pleased, he doesn't let it show in his voice.

"What isn't?"

"I would talk to her regardless."

Elphias screams in irritation, the brief respite to his storming emotions all but forgotten. He wants to shout at Albus, throw all his trunk contents in his face, and shake him so he would just understand.

But for all the genius in the world that he could possess, Albus Dumbledore didn't quite get love. He could be staring right at it, it could be screaming at him to comprehend; it could be telling him in not so many words that it's enveloping him, filling their dormitory up till the rafters but he just wouldn't understand.

And Elphias doesn't know what to do, except maybe, to get closer, to give him a better look. He doesn't know if it's going to dawn on him suddenly or if it would take another five years of their friendship. He never knows with Albus.

"Are you going to punch me, Elphias?" he asks, as Elphias moves.

"Why would I punch you if I could curse you from where I was standing?" he asks, incredulously.

"True."

"Just talk to her a little less," he says, clutching Albus's hands once again, asking him, no— pleading with him.

Albus nods and Elphias has so much to say, so so much, but he drops his hands and goes to bed. 

*********