nineteen | letters to

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"Ju-jungkook I.."

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*beep ... beep... beep

I slowly opened my eyes, I was in a hospital bed. What the hell happened?

"Let go! Don't even think of coming into the house!"

" Are you..... Min Ji su? Chae ra's best friend?"

" Because of my illness I shut everybody out of my life especially the people I love."

Why did I start in the first place? I know that they won't forgive me...

Especially Chae ra.... tears stream down my face. I regret ever coming here, I should've went to Amsterdamn instead with my parents.

I lost one person at a time in my life, it's all my fault. I felt my hands shaking, I couldn't control it.

"Wh-what's going on?"

I feel like I couldn't breathe right, "Don't worry breathe...." I inhale,"Just breathe...1..." I exhale.

It just got worse, my heart was racing to the point I could hear it beat from my chest.

*BEEP... BEEP...

A nurse went in, "How long have you been like this?"

"J-just now..." I said still trying to have self control over my body.

"What's going on?" I cried out in fear.

"You're having a panic attack."

The woman puts an oxygen mask around my head, "I need you to clear your head, alright." She said looking straight into my eyes, I nod.

I followed her instructions, I felt calm after 3 minutes.

"Just call me if you need anything. There was a man here a while ago, he said he'll be visiting you tomorrow."

*ring... ring...

"DAD."

I answered the call and put it on my ear.

"Ji su-ah, my princess. Are you okay? Who's with you right now? Is Jungkookie there?" I could hear the worry in his voice.

Tears started to flow down my face,"Dad... can I come there?"

"Why are you crying? Did you and Jungkookie break up? Did he hit you?! I knew he would get too strong! I-" I cut him off.

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