The reason behind the scars ( On Hold)

chapter one: Life Lessons

I felt so sore that I couldn't sleep at all, I look at the time and see its 4:58am. I decided to go get up since I have school in a few hours time. I groan when I sit up, pain shoots straight up my thighs to my shoulders, damm my whole body cries out in pain. I try standing, worst decision ever. If I thought I was in pain before I was wrong, it's worse when I move.

I slowly make my way to the bathroom and strip out of my clothes . I take a cold shower to try and ease the pain. ( I know what you thinking... why a cold shower ? Hot water helps with that... but hey we all different. Cold water helps me.)

After ten minutes I jump out and look at myself in the mirror, I wince just at the sight of all the scars , bruises, and fresh cuts that are displayed all over my body. I felt something wet on my cheeks. I hate crying it just shows that I'm weak. I scan all the scars on my stomach, thighs, wrists and chest. Each scar has a story behind it. Like the ones on my wrist those were created by me , I tired ending all of this, all the abuse. but that was the biggest mistake because I didn't look around the park properly, I never saw someone was watching me . I manage to slit my wrists after hours of crying and debating whether to end my life. I past out thinking I had finally done it. The next day I woke up in hospital. That person saved my life but I wanted to die. I believe there was a reason for me surviving. When I was released my mother continued the abuse and if I ended up reporting it or in hospital again, my punishments would keep getting worse.

I harshly wipe the tears away because I refuse to cry and show any emotions. I wrap the towel around my body and go back to my room to get dressed. I put on a red lacy bra and the matching panty, then I put on my black high waist skinny jeans and a black hoodie, and a pair of blue vans I got from the shop owner because I saved him from getting hit by a car. I tie my hair up into a messy bun.

I grab my bag and go to the kitchen, trying not to make noise because I don't want to deal with my mother. I enter the kitchen and since luck is not on my side, I find her sitting by the kitchen counter sipping hot coffee, looks like she sobered up from last night.

I grab an apple not bothering to say anything. I walk to the door and she calls out to me. "Skylar, you can't only take that! What about lunch? " she asks trying to act like a caring mother and we both know she's not. She only acts like this when she has someone over. " I'll survive " I half heartedly reply and walk away from her giving her a cold shoulder.

I know I will regret it when I come back after school. But I won't respect her if she doesn't respect me, I'm done respecting and trying to please people when they don't appreciate it. I pour my heart out to them and instead they take it and walk all over it.

On my way to school I could still feel the pain on my thighs, stomach and the back of my head. I am still surprised I didn't pass out yesterday when she banged my head against the wall. My arms are still bruised but I managed to cover it with my long sleeves. I enter the school and look at the time, only to see I have one minute before the bell rings. Wow I made it just in time, I didn't even notice that the time flew by so quickly, just a minute ago it was 7:04am and now it's 7:44am, yep I have been walking for 40 minutes, I could have taken the bus but I needed to clear my head.

I see two of my close friends Tara and Kim standing by the school entrance. "Hey guys " I wave at my crazy friends. "Hey babe " Kim sequels when she sees me. "Hey babes " Tara adds pulling me into a bear hug and it took all my strength not to scream out in pain.

When we were done hugging Kim starts "So. . . " she asks waiting for my reply.

"So...?" I raise my eyebrow waiting for her to finish her sentence.

"Are we going out this weekend? Remember our plans. " I honestly don't know if I'll manage to sneak out because my mother has been on my back this whole week more than usual. "Uh yeah..." I feel someone staring at me. I look around to see who it is and I find a guy staring at me and next to him are three other guys. I can't see their faces since they are in the shade and the sun is shining my direction, I have to squint to make out how many figures are standing there. I ignore them and face Kim "count me in. " I look down.

"Okay cool so it's settled, and we can sleep over at mine. " she says all jolly and ready to explode with excitement. It's like this girl can never get angry, she's always smiling. I have to admit it creeps me out sometimes.

"We gonna have so much fun. " Kim sequels this time.

"I'm gonna tap so many guys. " Tara adds.

I laugh " only you Would say that " I shake my head and smile at her. I have the craziest friends and I am also crazy, but not like these two.

"What's wrong sky? You look like you're in pain. " Kim says with concern all over her face. " Are you ok Sky? " Tara looks at me with the same expression. I frown and look down to see I'm holding my stomach. Shit what do I say, they cannot find out.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, just period pains. " I lie and add a fake smile so they can buy it.

"Let's go to class. " I start walking fast and pain shoots to my thighs and stomach. I look down oh no!

"But the bell hasnt -" Tara stops and stares at me with wide eyes.

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Lots of love Thejellytotqueen

( edited )