Be My Escape (a deefizzy fanfic)

misery

(a.n well here it goes. Im the main character, I use my own story about my life. Also **trigger warning** some parts may be triggering!)

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(Sophie's POV)

     I sit in the bathroom standing in front of my big mirror. All I see are flaws. I'm gross. I'm fat, ugly, nobody would ever want to be with me.

     I kneel on the floor by the toilet. I know what I have to do. I open the toilet seat up and stick two fingers down my throat.

  

  Its not pleasant but it needed to be done.

   I get up and brush my teeth and start getting ready for work.

    I brushed out my pink and red hair and put it in a messy bun. I quickly put on my makeup to cover up my ugly.

     I grabbed my keys and cigs and ran out the door.

    I entered hot topic, where I work. I saw my friend helping people so I went behind the counter and waited for something to happen.

*later that night*

    I sat on my bed crying. 'emo' 'freak' 'slut' 'ugly' 'fat' all of the words swarm in my head.

    

      "STOP, GET OUT OF MY HEAD" I cried to myself.

       I get up and open a tiny box that holds my best friends, my razors. I take one out and go to the bathroom.

        I sit on the floor tearing open my own skin watching blood drip to the floor. Each cut gets a little deeper.

        *next morning*

    I don't remember much of last night. But I do find out I cut pretty deep.

    I put a bandage around the cuts and start getting ready for another miserable day at work.

     I put on my black, ripped skinny jeans. Even though they're baggy on me. I put on a marvel belt to hold them up.

      I search for a black tank top to go under my Deefizzy sweatshirt that says "flaws don't define you."

  

     I get in my car and put in a pierce the veil CD. One of my favorite songs comes on, 'Yeah boy doll face' I start to sing along

Were you honest when you said,

"I could never leave your bed",

Wake me up and let me know you're alive

And will you fall in love again?

Is the scent slowly spreading?

I've been answering machines all night

And are the doctors dancing in

While the ambulances sing?

Another boy without a sharper knife...

The moment that's where I 

Kill the conversation, wrap this up 

With a knife that loves to feel 

How do you know how deep to go before it's real?

(Take me home)

Can I even complicate your breathing?

I guess I'm just your average boy 

This is me with a knife in the back 

And a grip on the grass