Shadows

8.

'if he doesn't stop calling you I will personally go to his house and kill him' my sister snapped when Blake called for the second time in the last minute.

He has tried to contact me a lot this week, even at school. but I walked away or declined or just didn't read his texts.

'if it irritates you so much just go to your own room' I said, still looking out the window. I was sitting in my window seat, legs pulled up and my arms around it, like I always do when I'm sad.

Why I'm sad? I don't know. How can I possibly be so heartbroken by someone who wasn't even my boyfriend?

'okay' Bella sighed as she sat next to me, 'what's up'

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow because she already knows this.

'I know but how can you possibly be so sad about someone you've known for a week and kissed once?'

'it's different with him' I mumbled 'the kiss wasn't just a kiss and I have known him for long more than a week, he just has known me for a week'

'a crush doesn't count' she mumbled

'it does, because I have no other explaining than that.'

'what?' she frowned and my phone went again. 'I swear if it's h- oh' she gave the phone to me.

'open the door' said Sophie's voice and then hung up.

'commanding much' I mumbled as I stood up and I did what she asked. She obviously was standing outside and it's not very warm outside so I won't let her freeze to death.

When I opened the door I saw Sophie, Alison and Mike.

'we have pink drinks, cookie dough, chocolate, and mango ice cream' Mike stated.

'those are all my favorites' I cracked a small smile

'but' Alison put up a finger 'you can only eat them if you tell us what is happening in that little head of yours'

This is so not fair, forcing me with food. 'okay'

'I told you she would say yes if we had food' I heard Sophie whisper.

'can hear you you know' I turned around, grabbed a pink drink out of her hand and took a sip.

'I know' she smiled and put her arm around my neck.

'you didn't tell us your friends where coming over' my mother came in

'I didn't know' I turn to her

'okay?' she frowned

'bye miss Hastings' Mike then ran up the stairs

'sorry' I looked at my mom and followed him.

When we where up stairs all of us sat on my bed, Bella included. I was already eating some cookie dough and the rest was staring at me.

'talk' Sophie said and I raised my eyebrow, 'please?'

'okay' I sighed and sat up.

'why are you so sad?' Alison asked

'because Blake lied' I mumbled

'yeah but why are you so sad, he was just a crush and you only kissed once' Mike mumbled

'it was just a crush, until we started talking' I looked down 'he was so sweet and funny. Even though we only talked about casual stuff I feel like I know him so well'

'but' Alison said because my tone told them there was one.

'but I don't know if everything was a lie. the whole time I forgot he was a bad boy. And he has probably seduced a million girls so I could easily be one of the many girls that fell for his stupid act'

'oh baby' Mike hugged my sideways.

'it can't be an act right. He was so honest and-' I sighed to blink away the tears

'what?' Sophie who was hugging me from the other side asked.

'you know how you look in his eyes it's just long blank space' I asked and they all nodded. 'when I looked in his eyes the first time I saw more than that. It was like I saw behind the mask, it was like I saw the pain he was in'

Bella sighed and closed her eyes 'you probably pretended it'

'no Bella, I didn't' I snapped back 'I know what I saw. I know the pain that I saw when he freaked out when I accidently said he doesn't value life. He screamed that he's not perfect.'

Bella looked up again.

'he was in pain that night and he showed me. and something tells me he never shows it'

'Chrissy' Alison grabbed my hand 'I'm sorry to break it to you but he probably just lost control that night, and you where accidently there'

'then why did he got calm when I grabbed his hands and told him nobody's perfect?' I looked at her, she didn't say anything back.

'because you stayed calm, and it just works that way. When you are mad and someone around you is calm you automatically also get calm' Bella said.

'Bella you don't know what happened. I'm not saying I'm special but I have seen him mad before and he usually beats the crap out of someone. This time he was just in pain, he wasn't mad, he was in pain. and somehow I calmed that pain a bit'

'honey' mike mumbled, putting my hear behind my ear. 'do you think he deserves a second chance?'

'no and yes' I looked at him. 'he fucked up and I'm not the girl to mess with. But I don't want to end this like this, I still like him a lot and how bad it might be, I want to give him a second chance'

'Chrissy you realize your talking like he was your long term boyfriend' Sophie said

'it feels like it' I now looked at her 'he may be in pain but right now I am too. I don't know how but this heartbreak is worse than the once I ever had. He did something with me, he makes me feel something that I can't understand but I love the feeling, and i never want to loose it'

'than you should give him a second chance'