The Passenger Seat

18

"Huy, tumigil ka na sa kakaiyak diyan!!"

Paulit ulit akong pinapatigil ni Mike na tumigil sa kakaiyak, pero hindi ko talaga mapigilan.

As expected, napaiyak nanaman ako ni Mike. We watched 'Call me by your name' and I couldn't stop crying in the very last scene!! (no spoilers)

"It's not my fault! You know how I am with movies!" sabi ko, sabay punas ng luha sa mata ko.

Honestly, after what happened earlier, this was exactly what I needed! Lagi kasi akong nagkikimkim ng mga emotions ko, and I honestly am not proud of that. Alam ko na pag hindi ko nalabas ang mga iyon, it can take a toll on me.

"So...kamusta naman kayo nung kaibigan mong si Nick?"

We were now in a cafe in the mall kung saan kakaunti na lang yung taong kumakain. The coffee was a bit overpriced, pero at least hindi naman siya dinudumog ng mga tao.

"Okay lang." tipid kong sagot, suddenly getting quieter than before.

"Really? It didn't seem like it was when you were lowkey trying to get away from him earlier." sabi niya.

Hindi ko na rin minsan maintindihan yung iniisip ko! I like being around Nick, but the fact na umaaligid pa rin yung ex niya is not something I have any control over. It's not like I can just ask him to stop seeing her!

Hindi ko na kinuwento pa kay Mike yung isyu ko kay Nick at nag arcade na lang kaming dalawa. Matagal tagal na daw kasi kaming hindi nagkakasama ng ganito katagal, and since I didn't have anything else to do, pumayag na lang ako.

"How come we don't have fun like this anymore?"

Papauwi na kaming dalawa ni Mike. Inabot kami hanggang alas otso ng gabi bago kami parehong napagod. Paano ba naman? Pareho kaming competitive at mahilig sa ganung games.

"You already know. We had that falling out, remember?" honest kong sagot sa kanya.

Rather than bringing awkwardness between, we both chuckled. It's been 3 months since we've had our falling out, but our friendship still feels the same.

Nagpark sa tapat ng bahay namin si Mike and we both decided to finally have the talk that we've both been putting off.

"So...why DID we have that falling out?"

I smiled at him, pero alam kong seryoso siyang nagtatanong.

If we both had this conversation back then, I'm pretty sure the two of us would have been filled with emotion.

"We both had different paths we wanted to take. Gusto kong magseryoso sa pag aaral while you wanted to focus on your band and gigs."

Despite the fact na ayaw sa kanya ng mga magulang ko, I could have just disobeyed my parents and kept being friends with him. But something in me was agreeing with them.

Gusto kong maging masaya si Mike sa pangarap niya, pero iba yung opinyon namin pagdating sa pagsunod ng mga pngarap namin. He believed that it's not really necessary to get an education, whereas I want to get the education to achieve mine.

"Yeah...Were you offended about me teasing you a lot? Yung mga 'masyado mong sinusunod parents mo' na comment?" tanung niya.

Tumango naman ako. Nakita kong may regret sa mukha niya. He now realized what pushed me away from him.

"I'm not mad anymore though."

He looked at me, thankful for that comment. Wala naman na kaming problema sa isa't isa. It's just that the two of us were growing and we needed space from each other to do so.