Pure Emotions

Letter to a Boy

Dear Boy,

It feels weird writing this, you don't even know who I am, nor will you ever. However, I feel inclined to write this, as I will look back on this, perhaps embarrassed by how I could think of such things. So, without further ado, here is my story. Of one boy I have ever liked before.

You might be wondering why I don't say, love. You see, love is a powerful word with lots of meaning behind it. I only love three things deeply. My mom, my dad, and my dog. However, I write this to my crush, who is still my crush until I have no reason to deeply want to talk to you.

The first time I saw you I thought you were mediocre, no offense. You wore mediocre clothes, such as Supreme and Champion liked the mediocre show, Friends. You were in my connection group, and we talked once or twice, on your love for the show. I couldn't relate, however, since I hadn't even seen a second of it in my life. However, as time went on I realized my feelings and that they quickly developed into something I couldn't do anything about. Before I knew it, it was too late and I was in too deep. I got butterflies every time I walked near you, crouching down so you wouldn't see my face. Eventually, my emotions died down when I saw a picture of you rolling a blunt. I quickly realized the maturity of high school boys, and how they don't possess much of it. We didn't have any classes together so I forgot about you. I developed feelings for another boy, but that's another story for another time. But teenage hormones are more present than ever at this time in of my life, so, you guessed it, I began to like you again. Our school trip to the local university did not do me justice. I was nervous the whole bus ride there

"Perhaps he is looking at me," I thought, which I know wasn't true since the back of my head was facing you.

We walked near each other once, when a group of some girls was walking in the wrong direction.

"Come back," you said, as my stomach dropped as we all turned around.

You sat in the cafeteria with your friends, and at one point he was alone, and I couldn't take my eyes off of you. The day had ended, and it was time to go back to school. I hadn't talked, made eye contact, or even stood a foot away from you the whole trip, but I was ok with that because at least I could see you. 

All of this may seem stupid. Making up fake feelings for someone who doesn't know my name someone who doesn't even know I exist. With this, I hope to come close to you, for you to notice me. I just want to know if I should cut my feelings here, or keep on working with them because something will or might happen.