can you keep a secret ( zayn malik vampire fan fiction )

chapter ( 53) "goodbye"

here by pharrell wiliams

she was the one by the vamps

dark paradise by lana del rey

all I want by kodaline

enough to let me go by switchfoot

alice's pov

zayn took me to my room and put me in bed my mum was home so she ran to me and cried but I told her that I'm so tired I need to sleep we will talk tomorrow and she agreed then went to her room

I lied in bed holding my pillow , crying from physical and emotional pain at the same time zayn sit beside me in bed

"come on alice you need to change " he say rubbing my back his voice was full of pain  "no I don't want to see my body like this"

"come on I will help you" he looked in my  eyes his eyes was full of pain too

"no, I don't want you to see me like this too" I say

"alice I love you anyway I don't care how you look now or then and beside it's all my fault I should have.." before  he continue I put my finger on his mouth "shhhhh what's done is done we have to make them bay for killing diana we have to win this war for her" I say

"you are right come on you need to get some rest & tomorrow morning we will go to my house to check on everyone"he stand up go to my Closet grab a pear of  pajamas pants and a top then come back he puts them on the bed

"please babe stand up let me take that jacket off you " he say  he took off harry's jacket slowly , now i'm only in my underwear , my arms and legs is hurting me so much

"alice your cuts is still bleeding " he say and ran to the bathrom and came back with an antiseptic , some toilet papers and some bandages

"lie down" he orders and I do as he say

he slowly wipe away the blood of the cuts on my left arm and my right leg then he put some antiseptic on them

"ahh" I say in a low voice it hurts a little

"sorry babe" he say then he put the bandages on them carefully then he look in my eyes and place a kiss on my forehead "I'm sorry alice" he whispers then get up quickly I can see the tears in his eyes 

he picks up the top of the bed and put my  head through the collar of the top then the arms , he hold my pants for me I stepped inside them and he pulled them up

we lied on the bed together his arms around me so protectively

"everything will be alright,  I promise" he say i can feel the pain in my chest we lost diana and she was zayn's favourite little sister he loves her I know he must be in a great pain and niall , she and him was going to move togther to london soon he must feel heart broken , torn the love of his life was killed in front of him and the others all of them must feel guilty now , I feel guilty for what happened I wish I could have stopped that Carlos I wish I could have saved diana but I couldn't , suddenly I feel zayn's arms close around my stomach hard he dig his face in my shoulder , he was crying hard

" I couldn't save her I couldn't , it's all my fault , my fault"  he say between his sobs I put my arms around him

"it's not your fault zayn , diana saved us all and we need to win the war for her " I say rubbing his back , holding him so tight my tears starts to fall , I wanna take that pain from zayn but I can't I hate to see him suffer like that , I can't help him , I couldn't help diana , I can't help anyone , I'm so helpless