Losing All Hope

Chapter 8 - Unwelcomed Events.

The splashes of the water reach my thighs as I can see Hayden struggle with its rapid tide. A lump forms in my throat and my heart races, What happened?!

Desperately I pace, scared of what is happening and knowing that I should be doing something to help him. A rush of dread and guilt floods through my body as I lean down over the bank.

"HAYDEN" I scream until my voice hurts, crouching and reaching out my hand towards him.

It is all that I can think to do in the heat of the moment and as the adrenalin rushes through my body and my stretched fingers fail to reach Hayden's I jump in after him.

The waves formed by a mixture of our splashing and the current cover my ears, muffling all of the shouts and longing yells from Hayden's body.

I can see his head bobbing just above the water, his arms flailing, hopelessly trying to grip onto the non-existant bank.

Suddenly all is silent, and I can hear only the waves against my head as I attempt to swim to where I last saw him. The silence scares me even more than the inicial shock did. It means that he is giving up. It means that he is dying.

Determined to find him, I begin to stretch my head upwards; desperately I try to overcome the power of the water.

It almost seems like it is purposefully stopping me from getting to him.

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Finally reaching him, I enclose my arms around his still body. His arms are floating away from his chest and his delicate, dark hair has turned completely black in the water.

It reminds me of the night sky; hopelessly black, blinding anything from view. I can see his open eyes, their once sparkling and captivating silver now only a pool of dull, lifeless grey.

My breathing speeds up as I crawl out of the lake, dragging Hayden in my arms.

I finally accomplish the impossible and as I stare at him, his soaked body, his still chest, I realise that there is nothing more that I can do.

I lay my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck and one hand deep into his soggy hair and cry.

I cry until my eyes are red-raw but I can not tell whether it is tears or the water from Hayden's shirt that covers my cheek.

I raise my head, still sobbing, and rub my eyes until they sting and as I stare into his open eyes I lay my lips on his once more. For the last time I kiss his soft, tender lips and as I stroke his face I whisper gently into his ear,

"I'm sorry Hayden... I love you..."

I lift my fingers delicately over his eyes and, closing his eyelids, can feel the sting of more tears roll from my eyes.

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I sit with my back leaning on a large willow that sits by the lake, my hands harshly ripping at my face. The shock of what has just happened is still torturing me and I want to kill myself.

"Why did I not just tell him no? Why did I even come after him!?" I barely hear my own voice shouting at myself.

Above my wailing I can hear the wind picking up once again, its tormenting chill blowing against my wet body.

I try to block out all of the noises around me, try to blow an imaginary bubble around myself and just leave the world behind but I am interupted by the sharp gusts that hit my face.

"Shhhhhhhh..." I can hear its whispers blow against my ears, its bitter coldness hit the back of my neck.

"Its not...Your fault..." I finally realise that the words are being whispered to my personally. I finally realise that it is not just my imagination.

My head jolts up, confused and longing for more, to understand what was happening.

"I...Will...Protect..." The last gust of wind burst against my eardrum before the sun came back from behind the cloud, warming my body and drying my clothes.