Batfam!

Bruce Wayne

- Okay so me personally, i feel like he's around 20-22 when he becomes batman. Like idk if thats how it is in the comics but like. He's an extreme introvert who was homeschooled (again this is my headcanon, he was probably never in public school for very long and likely never went back after his parents' deaths) and lemme tell u it makes perfect sense he dropped outta college. Lets be real he turned 19 halfway into his freshman year of college and decided to travel instead.
- Anyways. Approx. age range of obtaining the children:
Bruce sans parents: 11
Drops out of the face of the earth to travel: 18
Batman: 20
DG: 10 BW: 22
BG: 15 DG: 14 BW: 26
Nightwing: 18 BW: 30
JT: 17 BW: 30
little under a year later todd 'dies'
TD: 16 BW: still 30
Red hood incident: right about here.
SB: 17 TD: 17 BW: 31
Oracle incident: Right about here
Red robin: 18 BW: 32 Sephanie goes back to spoiler: 18
Cassie the sweet bb gorl: 16 BW: 33
Black bat: srsly shortly after. Bw: 34
DW: 12 BW: almost 35

Yeah idk if thats reasonable i just,,,, idk Like i feel like he's still reasonably young when he gets dami.

Anyways. So practically the whole family is introverts. Very, very introverted. Only exceptions are dick and steph.

Yea

- So anyways Bruce has a hard time keeping up with all the kids friends and stuff bc he's not used to dealing with so many names. Like sure he's billionaire bruce wayne and he has to know all these people but trust me he just forgets names a lot and pretends he's too drunk or partied too hard to remember.

- They blame all his random injuries either on crazy rich people adventures or drunken stupidity or severe clumsiness. He plays it up pretty well.

- He's become the beloved heart of gotham unintentionally. Like he plays like he's this big dummy so the public eye doesnt think he's batman but like he really didnt anticipate it getting this far. See people would want to hate him for all his drinking and womanizing if it werent for how much he so clearly cares for his various kids (and because of dami: kids pets). And like they can tell he isnt mean or rude to the ladies he's romancing, like he's always described as a complete sweetheart and gentleman even when drunk by various ex-lovers. They just also mention he's "absentminded" and "often gets lost." And the public adores him. Because like,,, he's the city's son now. And he's a big bumbling, clumsy idiot who the city feels they need to protect. The people of gotham use him as a meme and coping mechanism amidst all the chaos. Sometimes villains kidnap him just bc they wanna see if he's really that stupid and literally he's such a good actor at this point that most villains are even a little soft on him. I mean they've all heard his story, every reasonable minded person in gotham just thinks he's a walking human trainwreck because he's lonely.

- And anytime a villain actually hurts him the city gets mad. Because they love their bumbling idiot. The people of gotham would feel a strange emptiness without seeing him on the front cover of the newspaper every morning doing something good natured and dumb. Like donating a ridiculous amount of money to some new charity. Or adopting a new kid. Or saving a cat from a tree (He was mocking Clark. Also he faked getting stuck just so he kept up appearances as Gotham's Favorite Dummy™️)

- Heck even the gothamites who are anti-rich people cant help but care about him bc literally all he does with his wealth is try to help people and change his company into something good.

- He actually loves playing up that soft, caring side of himself because sometimes its draining being so harsh and cruel as batman and he loves playing the role of Everyone's Favorite Idiot™️

- Literally its so refreshing having to be the soft, drunken dummy that everyone loves. He hates the attention sometimes but he also loves just,,, not having to stress sometimes.

"Billionaire playboy Bruce wayne stuck in a tree again trying to save a cat"
"Dick Grayson claims Bruce Wayne once gave him $100 to see a film with friends and asked 'is that not enough' in response to son's shock"
"Bruce Wayne's new bruises are apparently from 'falling down a few flights of stairs so as not to trip over [damien's] dog'"
Seriously at this point even the reporters think he's a walking meme.

- As soon as Bruce 'adopts' a new kid he does all sorts of research into their culture and childhood and stuff so he knows what snacks to pack in the house so they feel most safe and comfortable. He learned with dick that sometimes kids dont show when they've got serious underlying issues and he never assumes a kid is perfectly ok. He tries his hardest to make his home a safe place.

- But also the culture thing is because when he first adopted Cass he realized she knew literally nothing of modern asian culture and like she was raised as an assassin not a kid and he panicked and bought literally every asian snack in the isle of walmart he could find at like 1 in the morning. He was like "my daughter deserves to know her culture."

- Also dick the giant weeb was with him and was the one who convinced him the animes were necessary to "teach her" with. In actuality he just saw some classics and realized it was prime time to teach. Anyways, cassie really relates to sailor saturn. She loves her, deeply, and will defend hotaru with all her heart. (Dick: yeah thats fine cass but im mamoru. So, you cant be him.)
(Jay: no dick ur usagi shut up)
(Dick: i'll kick ur butt right here, right now.)
(One night, several years ago, batgirl is in danger.
Babs: Aw man what do i do im cornered.
Dick, as robin, flaring his cape out behind him and throwing a random rose he got from god knows where at her feet: You can do this sailor moon!
Babs: ?!??!?!?!)

- Bruce wayne knows way too much about memes and anime and the like than he would like to know. Not that he doesnt enjoy anime and stuff but he just,,, theres some anime he'd like to unsee. (Bruce: oh god why were you kids talking about this!!! its such garbage and children shouldnt watch this. Dick: bruce its a meme Bruce: No!!!! its,,,, so bad Dick: oh come on you havent even seen the worse, dont look up boku-)

- Yeah anyways. He's lived in a house with a multitude of teens for quite some time and altho 30 isnt old he feels ancient because of 1) everything he's been through and 2) "what do you mean you were born in (insert year) and you never watched (insert bruce's fave childhood show)! Im like a grandpa"

Cue alfred rolling his eyes in the bg because he's older than all of them.

- Bruce wayne is a loving, nurturing father for all of his kids and a CERTAIN COMIC SERIES is wrong for acting like he'd treat ANY of his kids like trash. He would NEVER say anything like that about any of his kids. He is always proud and supportive how dare they make him say "i wish i had never taken you in" because that is !NOT! bruce wayne. Nor is it bruce wayne content. He's a loving father.