After Brianna *MBB BOOK THREE*

It will be okay

I looked out the window and watched the birds fly around. I heard Brianna crying but stayed put. I knew Dean would get her. 

"Did you not hear her or did you choose to ignore?" Dean said as he entered the room while bouncing Brianna. I looked back at him and sighed. I stood up from my window seat and walked to my bed before sitting down and reaching up for Brianna. He was hesitant but he handed me Brianna.

"I heard her. I did not want to hear her cry. She does not stop for me. It is like she does not even know I am her mother." I rocked her and she started to get fussy. Dean sat beside me on my bed and pulled me into his arms.

"Kelsey, you know you two really bonded after you held her five months ago but things got worse. You let yourself get bad again. We can work on it, together. I promise it will be okay." His voice was calming but I knew it was not going to get better. 

I had tried for months to curb my depression and just be happy, yet nothing worked. I visited doctor after doctor and took medication one after the other. Nothing had made me happy or brought me back to life. The past two months it had gotten worse. I stayed home and in my room. Koda often cameleer and just sat with me as I slept or watched Brianna while Dean returned to work. 

My mother had started a new job three towns over and about twenty miles so watching Brianna was not an option for her. She left shortly after Brianna was born because she could not stand to be at the firm. She got cold after my relapse of depression and pulled away from me, leaving me to figure it all out.

"I do not know, Dean. Things don't eellike they are going to be different. I just don't think I am cut out to be a mom." I told him as I pulled away from his grasp. I looked at my little girl who wiggled in my arms. Her little arms reached for her daddy and I just sighed. I handed her back to Dean and gave a soft smile. "At least you tried." I whispered and stood up and stretched. I looked at my phone and sent a text to Koda to ask her over. I enjoyed the moments she would come and sit. She would give me the juicy gossip of her and whatever guy she was seeing at the moment and it made me happy seeing her live her best life.

---

"Why do you not go? It will be so fun and you will love it." Dean said trying to convince me of the crazy idea that Koda brought up. I shook my head once more. 

"No, no way." I said as I pulled my feet onto the couch.

"Kelsey, think about it. It is only four days but you get go on a plane and travel far away and just live on your own." She said again but making it seem better than the last time she spoke. 

"Just me and you?" I asked and she nodded.

"No Brianna?" I asked looking at my sleeping child who laid in a pack n play. Koda nodded her head again. 

"Only four day?" I asked my last question and she nodded again. I sighed and let out a nod of my own and they both opened their mouth in disbelief.

"You will go?" Koda asked and I nodded my head once more. 

"Alright, Les go pack." I told her and I gave a soft smile. I got up and walked up the steps to my room with Koda on my heels. 

"We are going to have so much fun, I promise." She said as she plopped on the bed and I gave another soft smile to her. I picked out clothes I had not even worn since Brianna had been born. Skin tight dresses and skinny jeans quickly filled my bed and it left me with choices.

"Just pack anything you want to, we are going to fly since it would be an all day drive." She said and I nodded my head letting her know I understood.

I took out tops and shorts and threw them into my large suitcase. I picked out multiple pairs of shoes and put them in the bag as well and turned to look around the room. 

"Here girls, I got the tickets. Tomorrow at twelve in the afternoon." Dean handed our tickets to Koda and she smiled and she grabbed them and left the room, waving her hand.She was going home to pack.

"Um, Kelsey. I hired a maid to stay at my house. Her name is Lucy." He told me as he pulled photos of a young girl, only a year or two older than myself. She will watch Brianna while I am at work. She is eighteen but she recently had a miscarriage and found out she will never be able to have another child." He said with a sadness in his voice and I nodded my head. I examined her photo a little more. She was beautiful.

"Okay, That is fine. She looks finite me." I said to him and handed him back his cell phone. "Is Main cold this time of year?" I asked Dean and he shook his head no. I nodded in a response and zipped my suitcase up. I took the photo Brianna, Dean and I off of my shelf and put it in the front zipper before standing it on all four wheels. The bag was packed full with no room to spare and I rolled it to the door. 

"I hope you have so much fun, Kelsey. Live a little and do everything you always wanted to." He told me and I nodded my head. I was still only seventeen so Iw as not sure on what he exactly wanted me to do.

"I will try to the best of my ability." I told him before plopping on my bed and putting my legs under the cover. Dean left my room and cut the light off knowing I was going to bed early. I watched as the door closed and I shut my eyes shortly after.

Maybe a week in Main is what I needed.