hero.

entry one

Living in a small town by the sea was one thing that brought me closer to Japan. Not only was I able to feel the same ocean breeze but the smell. The smell. The smell of ocean bacteria and salt water filled the air like it was some kind of evacuation. My house had always faced directly towards the sunset. My mother likes to say, "The sun say goodbye one last time to us before moon say hi." I think it was cute. One, because of my mom's broken english. Two, because the sun has words for us. For us. It's a nice feeling to know something as high as mighty as the sun to say goodbye to you.

I decided to go back home after saying goodbye to the sun and hello to the moon to check up on my family. Living in an asian household is never easy. There are too many rules. Rules that taunt me whenever friends come over. Rules where my own friends question and tease me for. One of those rules are taking off your shoes before you get it. That's an absolute rule you cannot break, and if you were to break it, don't expect to come home in a few hours. Though, the few hours can vary depending on different households, but mine is the few hours. Slipping off my sneakers and placing them neatly besides my father's shoes, I turned the knob to be welcomed with the smell of fish.

Second rule, fish is important for dinner. My father once told me, "If you do not ingest fish, the sea god will give you bad luck." I never understood why eating fish had anything to do with the sea god and I still don't. I'm pretty sure my dad made it up too so I can't be picky about fish. Not that I'm complaining though because I actually love fish.

"Excuse me," another rule, "I'm home!" I shouted. This rule applies even if you aren't home. You have to excuse yourself before walking into anyone's house. Anyone. Imagine how embarrassing it is to say that whenever you go to a friend's house because of this rule. Good thing it's usually my friends who come over.

"Hiro!" My mother's thick accent fills the room as she called me name from the dining room. "Dinner!"

I walk towards the dining room while the smell of fish gets stronger and stronger each time. I glance at the fish tank right outside the dining room. Oh god, I'm so sorry we eat your cousins every day.

"Hi Hiro," my father greets.

"Hi mom, hi dad."

"How's the ocean?"

"The same as always."

"Same?"

"Yeah."

And that's the end of our conversation. My dad has a thick accent as well. Not the same as my mom's though, his is a thick french accent. My dad is a half like me. The more I look at him, the more adopted I look. My dad is a young man, with curly brown hair and the deepest and most beautiful hazel eyes. Trust me, they are breathtaking. His eyes were specked with gold that shimmers in the sun, the green glow of the ocean surface, everything my eyes don't hold. I'm pretty sure my mom fell in love through his eyes. Anyone would've. The only thing I've got from my dad was the curly hair. I wouldn't say I had his eyes either no matter how many relatives have told me. My eyes were no where as beautiful as that french man. My eyes were an ugly brown hazel, the muddiest non-glowy hazel.

Not only was my dad a beautiful man, he was french! French! His mother was french but his father was japanese. Yet he looked nowhere close to japanese. Unlike me. I look exactly like my mom, except for the curly hair and less brown eyes. I looked at my mom this time. My mom is pretty young too. Her eyes are just as pretty as my dad's. Her's compliment his so well. The deep black that felt never ending if you stared. She felt mysterious, her eyes were smaller than my dad's, making it seem like she was hiding secrets, so many kinds of secrets of the entire universe inside her black eyes. The magic of her's is that they shimmer just as much as my dad's.

I stare at my sister now. She's an exact copy of my father. Curly hair, beautiful features and all. Only thing different was that her eyes were the exact copy of my mom's. "Dad, Hiro is staring at me weirdly."

"Hiro come back to earth will you," my dad nudged me in the arm, almost causing my to fall off from shock.

I ended up thinking too much. Again. I look up again to see my mom place the last dish on the dinner table. She gracefully takes a seat besides my dad. "Thank you for the meal." Another rule, thank the food for being food. It never made sense to me how we don't thank mom personally. She even thanks the food.

As soon as my mom takes the bite, everyone else takes one for themselves. Another rule, my mom is always first. "Hira, how is it?" My mom questioned Hira, taking a chunk of fish and placing it onto my dad's bowl.

"Delicious!"

"Your grades good?"

"All A's!"

"Very good! Hiro?"

Uh oh. Uh oh. It's my turn now. I should've stayed longer at the beach. Maybe I should've told them I was going to stay over my friend's house. Wait that wouldn't have worked, I never go to my any of friends' houses. I panic. I start sweating. This isn't good.

"I mostly have A's," I start off quietly. No appetite now, I can't eat the delicious white rice below me. It's taunting me like I'm an idiot.

"Mostly?"

"Yeah mostly."

"Why mostly?"

She won't end this conversation.

"I got a C in math," my breath hitched, I don't know what's gonna happen. I've never gotten a C. Not a single C. I never had a problem with math. Why is this happening to me now?

"Hiro."

She sounds angry.

"I thought you said you study harder now."

I think her blood is boiling.

"Do I need to send you back to tutor?"

She's definitely lost it.

"No!" I shouted accidentally. I didn't meant to shout. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"No you yell! I will send you!" That was it. That was the end of the conversation. I can't argue back and make it worse. My dad gives me a 'it's the best we can do son' kind of look while my sister gives me a 'sorry big bro, just do as mom says' look. Neither are helping me.

I eat my dinner in silence.