I'm not one for words. At least when it comes to you. I'm not good with emotions either. My teachers always tell me there isn't enough emotion in my writing, but I just keep it bottled up for the moments that really matter. And apparently you really matter. I try to keep my emotions in check, but I'm awash in them when I think about you.
The fact is, I can never be with you. I could never ask you out or do anything besides daydream because how would I ever ask you? When I think about you, my chest fills with joy. When I think about talking to you, I feel like I'm going to hurl. It's a pretty vicious cycle, but what am I going to do? It's not like you're ever going to look at me, much less ask me out. As far as I know, you don't even know I exist.
So I think of why I don't like you.
Your hair is stupid. Well, stupidly perfect. Because it is perfect. It's the type of hair that always looks like you didn't put any effort into it. I mean, for all I know you didn't, but it still looks good, which I will never understand.
Your style is well. . . your style is non existent. It's usually jeans and whatever top was first in your drawer. Or so I assume. Sometimes you wear cargo pants. Or athletic shorts. But nothing ever matches. The thing is, it doesn't matter because you look good no matter what you wear. Because your smile is always bright and your eyes are always sparkling and you always looks like you. To me, that's all that matters.
You are always swimming. I mean always swimming. When you aren't at a friend's house or school, you're at the pool. Which rhymes. But you aren't doing a sport for popularity, if you did you'd be playing football or basketball or baseball. One of the overly hyped sports. You swim because you love it, and you're more committed than I could ever be.
That rhymes. That's your catch phrase. You have a catch phrase. We're only juniors, and everyone knows what your senior quote will be. If anyone says anything that even remotely rhymes, you'll always shout, "That rhymes!" It's annoying and adorable and shows your sense of humor which I love. Or rather which I like. I honestly don't think I really know what love is, although I feel something for you which I haven't felt before. I've actually tried to rhyme around you, just so you would notice. You didn't.
My problem is that every negative has a positive. There is always a reason why whatever bad thing isn't bad, because with you nothing can be wrong. I try to stop liking you, but I don't know how.
You'll never read this. Which is why I wrote it. I just want you to know, you're perfect to me.
