Numb

I murmur something underneath my breath, my mind hazy, ears ringing, unable to be aware of what's happening around me. Music plays distantly, everything blurs as something touches my cheek. I feel its warmth on my cheek, heating this body that's been all too cold for far too long. My nose wrinkles; the smell of alcohol fills my nostrils. Am I at a bar? I smell... Sweat, smoke, and something else, something familiar. It's home. I smell home. I feel someone wrap their strong arms around me and press their soft lips against my ear. Its scent engulfs me, swallowing me up whole.

"Shhhh... You're okay now... I'm..." Their words are whispered in my ear, but I can only hear some of it. But I pick up something:

"I'm here now..."

I close my eyes and lean into this fiery heat, allowing it to take me- I trust it... I love it...

When I open my heavy lids, and all I see is pitch black. The darkness surrounds me. No, not again. I'm alone, aren't I? I hear shuffling besides me. Oh, I'm on a bed.

"Luce? You awake?"

Oh.

Shit.

No... Not him...

Please.

I turn onto my side and face him. Fuck, he looks hot. Curse this man. Moonlight shines on his tanned face, causing his forest green eyes to stand out. His pink bangs cover the upper half of his eyes. My eyes peer downwards and nearly bulge at the sight of him not wearing a shirt. My eyes greedily scan over his broad shoulders, his- No. Don't let him seduce you. Not again. The blush that was coating my cheeks dissipates, leaving the sting of coldness to take over.

"Yeah," I murmur as I stare into his eyes. "I'm awake."

He scoots closer to me, leaving mere inches between us. His breath fans over my face as his calloused hand gently cups my head. I sigh and lean into his touch, closing my eyes. God, I've missed this so much. A single tear slips, falling down my cheek. My heart aches for this man: his smiles, his touch, his voice, his warmth, everything about him. I've been so cold without him. So... Alone. I start shaking, almost unable to hold in my emotions. I choke back a sob, but that all goes to hell when he hugs me, trapping me within his arms and heat.

"Shhh, don't cry, Luce... Please don't.." His voice cracks, as if he's on the edge of crying too.

"Natsu..." I whisper.

Kami*, everything hurts now; my head pounds as a heavy sob racks throughout my whole body. My heart cracks more and more as I break down. I wish I never gained feelings for him. Maybe then... Maybe he wouldn't have had hurt me so.damn.much. His fiery lips press against my damp cheek. I shudder at the sensation. My mind is screaming for me to push him away, but... I can't resist him. I have never been able too.

"Luce... Look at me." He softly says, trying to soothe me.

My eyes flutter open and I flinch as the first things I see his emerald eyes boring into mine. My hand caresses his face, allowing his warmth to tame me. To control me, own everything piece of me: my heart, my soul- Fuck, I'm falling for him all over again.

"Why...?" My voice cracks as my fingers trace his cheekbones. Hot tears roll down my face as a guilty expression overcomes Natsu's face.

"Don't you hurt too? Don't you feel a tad bit guilty?" I inhale sharply, trying to maintain my composure.

"I-" I cut myself off, anger coursing through every fiber of my being. "Why am I the one apologizing for what you did and not you?! How must I accept the apology I never received!? Huh?!" I yell at him, almost screaming these words out. Silence fills the room. With every passing moment, my temper loses control.

"Didn't I mean anything to you...?"

I stare at him, pleading for an answer. He just sits there. How? He dares to just... Look at me, listen, and stay silent, like I'm nothing.

Am I nothing to him?

He brushes his hand against my blonde bangs, sadly looking at me.

"Shhhh..." He repeats as he painfully smiles at me. Natsu kisses my forehead with tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Luce. I'm so, so, sorry.."

I pull him in for a kiss; a kiss of life. All my aching flutters away, leaving a warm feeling in my chest. He wraps his arms around me once more, never wanting to let go again. I lean back and laugh with tears of joy in my eyes.

"I've missed you so much!"

Just as his mouth forms a response, he starts to fade. Everything around spins and fades away. I open my eyes as sunlight hits my face. I squint my eyes and sit up. I'm in my bedroom. I reach over for Natsu, but he isn't there.

I'm cold.

Alone.

Numb.

*Kami means 'God' in Japanese.

Hello~! This is my first fanfic uploaded here on WattPad! I usually use Fanfiction.net, so... Tell me what you think in the comments below!