confession | lipsoul

confession

jinsoul paced back and forth in her dorm as she went over her thoughts. today was the day that she'd confess to jungeun, her best friend since childhood. fourth grade to be specific. jinsoul was most certain she was in love with the younger girl. jinsoul never had the courage to say anything. hell, she didn't even have the courage to admit it to herself for a long time. it took her years to finally admit that she's hopelessly in love with kim jungeun. it'd been a struggle for jinsoul, watching jungeun date others and listen to her talk about them. to sit there on the sidelines and watch the love of her life kiss, touch, and hold others. the worst part of it all is months after the relationships, jungeun would walk into her dorm while crying her eyes out. jinsoul would hold the younger girl until she settled with minor hiccups and small sniffles. and then when jungeun fell asleep from exhaustion, jinsoul would rummage through her thoughts. jungeun didn't deserve the pain they gave her. jungeun deserved the love jinsoul could give her.

a knock on her dorm door sounded through the air and jinsoul shook her hands before smoothing out her skirt and opening the door. her breath got caught in her throat as she took in the appearance of jungeun. the said girl had on a black skirt with a button down shirt tucked into it but the first three buttons were popped open. she had on a pair of black doc martens to go with it and jinsoul was pretty sure she'd never felt more gay in her life.

"my eyes are up here."

jinsoul's gazed snapped up to meet jungeun's eyes. the younger girl wore a playful smirk on her face as she watched jinsoul in amusement. "well are you going to let me in?" jungeun asked and quirked in eyebrow. jinsoul nodded dumbly before widening the door. jungeun stepped through the threshold and jinsoul quickly closed the door behind her.

"hi," jinsoul said and smiled softly as jungeun sat on the end of her bed. "how've you been doing, jinsoul?" jungeun asked as she removed her shoes and sat them on the floor. jinsoul leaned on her computer desk and sucked her teeth.

"i've been good. college kicking me in the ass but what's new?" she joked and jungeun let out a small giggle, making jinsoul's heart flutter. "yeah, i totally feel you on that one. psych class really knows how to grind my gears," jungeun said and ran a hand through her hair. jinsoul nodded her head and shifted her gaze.

"what about you? how's it going with you and um...them?" jinsoul asked and jungeun rolled her eyes so hard jinsoul was so sure she could hear it. "i don't even want to talk about it. i saw them with someone else today on my way over here," jungeun said quietly and jinsoul gripped the edge of her desk tightly. "that's not good. you don't deserve that, i'm sorry," jinsoul said and jungeun waved her hand.

"there's a reason everyone i've dated or talked to fucked me over and i've yet to figure it out. maybe the problem is me," jungeun said and jinsoul's eyebrows furrowed. "what do you mean? are you blaming yourself because other people have no clue what they're missing out on?" jinsoul asked sharply and jungeun met her gaze shortly before looking away.

"i mean, i guess. it's happened to many times, soul. something's wrong," jungeun said and shrugged her shoulders. jinsoul's knuckles were turning white as she gripped onto the desk harder. she could not believe what she was hearing right now.

"jungeun do you hear yourself right now?" she asked and jungeun nodded. jinsoul got up from the desk and paced around the room. "you're kidding right? there's nothing wrong with you. it's not you, it's them."

"jinsoul."

"i mean you're literally the most perfect human being i've ever met. there's no way in hell you're the problem."

"jinsoul-"

"and not to mention you're smart, funny, caring, very gorgeous i mean have you seen yourself? god, don't even get me started on your personality."