. You say I am nothing but a memory to you, like I don't exist. But please do not tell me that you don't love me and that you wish I was never born. I know that you did love me that day when you first looked at me. I think that you threw away those feelings and destroyed me like I was trash. And do you remember when you first held me it was like some put a branding iron on your arms and you dropped me? How do you think I felt, and why do you think I can't learn aswell as other kids? It all leads up to you but you don't want to admit it to yourself because then all you feel is guilt and pain. I am sorry mother for my harsh words but you honestly never cared for me. You never wanted to have me in the first place. Well you got your wish I am no longer with you. Are you happy now mother do you still wish you had your little bundle of joy? But the thing is on my standpoint I had wished you weren't my mother at all. Now doesn't that hurt you even the slightest bit? No, well it hurts me to think it but somehow you would think I understood why you didn't want me but I still don't. Please help me understand why you put me through something so evil, so much of betrayal. I can see it now but I wish yet somehow it wasn't true. All in all you were selfish to me and honestly didn't care if I was dead or alive to you. So just tell me one thing mother if you died do you think I would love you or still care for you or even want you back? I think to myself that everything will be okay until you gave me the note that said:
I have forgotten what it means to love and chairish something that is supposed to be loved. But you my daughter are not what I was looking for.
Love mom
Do you have any idea what it is even like to love? I don't think you do. So don't tell me that you have ever forgotten how to love because you never did love anybody not even yourself. Let me tell you this though, some day you will regret every little possible thing you have ever done and have lost your way and can never get back and believe it. Have a suffering life because that's all I've ever had.
