Confession book

8-29-18

August 29th 2018

Well guys.......... Today was just oof. As I said before....... My friend is pregnant and I am going to be the step dad. Well that's a lot to take in on it's own. Me and my friend do NOT like each other in that way what-so-ever, so no, me and her are not a couple. I told my boyfriend about it.........Let's just say that he is nowhere near ok with it. He is mad for a lot of things. One, I am transgender. Two, I am closed off with my emotions to him, I physically and mentally cannot talk or open up about my emotions to people. (This is my way to help with that.) And three, I am helping raise my friends kid as a father figure. I get that he's mad that I am Trans. I mean he's straighter than a line. And I get why he is mad that I don't open up. (He doesn't open up either so............. yeah.) As for me raising a kid......... Well I am only trying to help. She doesn't, No she can't do this alone. And I am her friend.... I am going to be there for her. What's wrong with that? And I feel torn. Like I have to choose between this baby or him. How the hell am I supposed to pick? I love my boyfriend. But I love the baby too. I don't..... I shouldn't have to pick between two people I love more than anything. I shouldn't. At this point if he breaks up with me, well ok then, I have my kid to take care of. I can't be distracted by some break up. Yes I love him, but this baby doesn't need my heart broken state. And he is ignoring me....... I'll give him his space. I am not going to force him to talk to me or anything. I'll wait until he says something first. 

Authors Note:

So yeah this is going to be (Hopefully) an everyday thing. Yeah........ My life has a lot of drama. But hey........... It might be fun to read for you.............