Magic Interferes in New Orleans

Magic Interferes in New Orleans

By Wil A. Emerson

Rose Marie Tanner is the matriarch of our family. Loving, strong-willed, we say in public. She's actually five gallons full of vinegar and spit.

Granted, life hasn't been easy for her. She's been a widow for thirty years. Raised four sons and earned an honest, comfortable life for her and the family. She'll tell you, short and dry, nothing came to her in a silver spoon or a magic bag.

Speaking of magic, before the death of her husband, a two-bit magician with sticky hands and a crooked smile, Rose Marie and the boys went without a lot of the basics. Because of the husband's bad tricks and excessive gambling debts, she and the boys often had to hide from his nefarious friends who threatened to abduct her and the little ones and sell them to pay off his debts. One night, to prove their threats weren't shallow, they cut the throat of Rusty, the boy's faithful dog.

To make matters worse, a week later, they put Rose Marie's cat, Tooty, in the microwave and it caught on fire.

No apology from the husband.

The following week, Two-Bit went on a binge but got exceedingly lucky. He attributed it to his infamous Black Magic. He won enough money to pay off his extraordinary debts and had enough left over to stuff in a suitcase and carry it home. To Rose Marie's surprise, she found it loaded with one-hundred-dollar bills.

It was impossible for Rose Marie to ignore what this cash flow could do for her hungry boys. So when the first snore eased from Two-Bit's mouth, Rose Marie took out her only good carving knife, one so sharp it could cut a raspberry in three perfect slices, and slit her husband's throat. Then artfully, she dissected him, tongue first, and placed each part in the backyard barbeque. She set the gas burner high and watched all night long as each morsel of sinew and fat turned dark and rather crispy. Some parts took longer than others.

The New Orleans's police weren't the least bit mystified by Two-Bit's death. Mob connected. He'd been a source of trouble for a long time. Sure, his friends lost a gambling buddy but they didn't seem eager to shed many tears.

Rose Marie choose a traditional black dress for the funeral. The innocent boys, somber and white-shirted, stood at her side. After a reasonable period of mourning, Rose Marie re-entered the work force and opened a family diner. Soon her boys learned how to cook like real chefs and they all worked hard to bring home an honest dollar. Long hours were spent serving spicy pork, corn-fed chicken and fork-tender beef that had been marinated for days in secret sauces. City folk filled the diner with empty stomachs and left with satisfied smiles and a little less money.

While friends and family were surprised at the turn of events, Rosie Marie knew it wasn't a mystery as to why their family diner, BarBeQue Black Magic, became a famous New Orleans' restaurant.