The One Who Got Away

Prologue: The start of all of this.

When I was around 14 or 15, I knew for sure I did not like the views and thoughts of me and a woman consummating. I knew I found guys more sexually appealing. When I first heard Katy Perry's 'Firework' song, I knew for sure that I needed to accept myself for me. Then when on Thanksgiving Vacation with my family, we spent our vacation in New Orleans, and I turned on VH1 for the morning music and I saw for the first the 'Firework' music video. (At this time I was living with my Stepmother and my Dad. They both did not agree with homosexuality and said it was an abomination). When I saw the gay guy sitting alone by himself while everyone else was having the time of their lives; I thought to myself that is me right there.

Then later on towards the end of the music video he walks and finds this gay guy and when they meet they kiss. I just knew that something inside of me wanted that. Like, not that situation in particular, but I needed a man.

I spent a few months after that thinking to myself and checking guys out. I finally told my best friend Erica that I was gay. She was so happy I told her. She also knew this gay guy at our school. I didn't know what to think about it. I asked her if it would be possible for us to meet.

After that weekend she finally introduced me to him. My god he was so fucking awesome. He was so hot and just perfect. I knew he wasn't my perfect dream guy, but by-golly he shaped me. Every day after that we never officially went out just flirted back and fourth. I mean I liked him, but I was not at all ready to date anyone. I loved all the attention. We had so much fun together. I think my favorite memory was him sneaking up behind me and my best friend Erica and shoving his finger up my ass through my shorts.

He and I had many awesome experiences not sex, but just learning and just getting a better knowledge about myself. He was total wacko, but that's what happen right?