Welcome back to Keeping Up to the Kardashians, season fve, episode five, where the author had already been hit with way too many existential crises!
>While Dylan was taking a nap, his phone rang<
Dylan: ***** what the actual frick WHO DARES TO DISTURB MEEEEE
Owen: Boi jayus lu I quit this job
Dylan: What.. what do you mean?!
Dylan: Is it not enough money?! I made sure you had loads-
Owen: nO
Dylan: SO WHYYYYY
Owen: You left me...
Dylan: ..
Dylan: >yaoi thoughts<
Dylan: Hun as much as I want to be with you, I wasn't even with you in the first place pls I don't need a yandere right now okay I got tHinGs tO Do
Owen: wat
Dylan: wat
Owen: I wasn't-
Dylan: But I thought-
Owen: I'm not gay okay
Dylan: surecanwegetthisoverwithpls
Owen: I'm saying YOU LEFT ME ON THE PLANE
Owen: THE PLANE CRASHED
Owen: I HAVE STRANDED ON THIS ISLAND FOR MANY DAYS
Owen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH
Dylan: I don't know man
>Dylan sees Raphael go into the room, and signals him to be quiet like a professional, respectful boss he is.<
>Raphael, naturally, gave him a middle finger.<
Owen: DID YOU KNOW WHO OWNED THE ISLAND
OWEN: KENNETH
OWEN: he was okay i guess
Owen: BUT I WAS MAKING FUN OF HIM IN SECONDARY
Owen: Did you know what he made me do just to get a phone and call you??
Dylan >points middle finger back at Raph<: What?
Owen: He made me get a Sharpie..
Owen: And draw a mole on myself
Dylan: ...
Owen: ...
Owen: Did you know how mortifying it was
Owen: He made me say to a megaphone, "I HAVE A BIGGER MOLE THAN KENNETH."
Owen: I thought he was done but... HE TOOK A VIDEO OF IT AND SENT IT TO EVERYONE
Dylan: wth
Owen: IT GOT ON TRENDING
Owen: EVERYONE KNEW ABOUT IT EVEN NATHAN
Dylan: Sweet Christmas...
Dylan: My other private jet is already taking off to your destination that Raph had already tracked from your call
Dylan: Just sit tight... and don't touch anymore sharpies...
Owen: I'll go jump off a bridge
Dylan: k great-
Dylan: I mean, no, we can't lose our head chef yet!
Dylan: >ends call<
Dylan: So who won the competition?
Raphael: Me...
Dylan: WAT WHY
Raphael: Jk it was you
Raphael: I decided I'm already too badass, can't have a too OP character in this story 😎
Raphael: so we gave it to you
Raphael: btw we know you cheated and asked for help you will pay for this
Dylan: My only reply to your threat is... yolo
Ronald: >rekt so hard his name changed<
Raphael: >changes name< We also have other news
Raphael: You have your first SCTNIDC customer
Why is Kenneth so cruel after all these years? Who could possibly be dumb enough to be Dylan's first assassination customer? Find out all in the next episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians!
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Keeping Up With the Kardashians
HumorA TV show for adults, written by a kid for a couple kids, and posted in Wattpad for teenagers over seventeen. What could go wrong? I have the answer. Everything.
