Reflect Often

        I can't say you'll see the best of me through this. I lost myself along the way. And all I have left to do, is to reflect on those decisions.

I was walking to Ttukseom Island. I kept thinking. I can honestly say I am outspoken by others. In fact there weren't others, but one friend named fear. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be free from them. They are always stubborn while talking. So when I feel most alone I go to Ttukseom Island. In Ttukseom Island people come in groups of two with beers in hand.

In a dark world I want to be free. The type of freedom I have consumes me. I often wonder if I'm free at all.

I fear I cannot love myself. I often hate myself.

My mind often goes places. In a dark world. I see someone there. Alone. I want to know that, if maybe I reach out or brush past they'll notice me.
They have a label on their shirt. It says "Min Ji Joon" I want to brush past them! I hesitate, and the dark world consumes me.

I hate myself. For not being more like them. I know we're different. We have different stories. Which is why I wish I could love myself.

Kim Nam Joon. My identity and myself. Someone I hate but ultimately wish to love. With all the flaws I have. And everything that's happened. In the end will I truly be able to love myself...

-------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! This was inevitably short. This was also very last minute and probably a little confusing but when you're sad or depressed your mind tends to jump everywhere. I know from experience. Well to finish this off. I thank you again. Sincerely, Alaina!'~'