Dont Leave Me Lonely - A Ross Lynch One Shot

Don't Leave Me Lonely

February second.

2:14PM.

That's when time stopped.

When my whole world ended.

At first I didn't believe it. It wasn't the right car. Somehow they got the name wrong. But then her picture flashed onto the tv, and I knew they weren't wrong.

I don't think I've ever cried harder in my life. It was all my fault. If I hadn't let her leave ... if I hadn't let her walk away. It was such a stupid fight, but I just let her walk out the door.

Fighting seems so silly now. What were we even fighting about? I can't even remember, which is what hurts the most. All I remember is her begging me to stop yelling.

Why was I yelling? How could I have acted in such a way that made her want to go home? To leave me all alone. Now she's gone. All that we had was lost in a day, and we'll never get it back. I'll never get her back.

I practically told her to leave. Told her that it didn't matter if she was with me or not. I threw away my only chance I had with her. And now, she'll always be the one I'm missing. How could I be so stupid?

I needed the pain to go away. I couldn't even look at myself. Why couldn't it have been me? She never deserved this. I did. Why couldn't we go back and do it over?

Or just go back to the start, when everything was okay. When she was still here with me.

But there I was, looking at the tv. My eyes fixed on what was left of her car. I tried not to picture what happened to her. Was she still in there? No, it was too crushed, she wasn't in there... I didn't know how to make myself believe that all of it was real. It became clearer when her mom called me, crying. That's when reality kicked in. She was gone. I'd never see her again. And that's when I shut down. When I found the nearest liquor store, buying whatever I could afford.

I needed to drink away the pain. Nothing else would stop my heart from breaking into more pieces. I shut everyone out, locking myself into my hotel room. My family was no help when they first heard the news. They looked at me like I was a monster. They couldn't believe what I had done. They had nothing to say.

So there I was, staring at the hotel ceiling, my shirt being stained with a mix of tears and the hard liquor I was drowning myself in. I realized that nothing was taking away the feeling of not having her next to me. I was all alone, feeling myself breaking down as my mind spun with unclear thoughts.

"Don't leave," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut, "D-Don't leave me..."

I took a deep breath and fixed my eyes on one spot on the ceiling. I kept hoping I would wake up. That this was some awful nightmare and I'd wake up and she'd be beside me. I don't know how many tears I shed. How many times I called her cell phone that night, just to hear her voice on the voicemail recording. She had such a lovely voice. I felt my heart in my throat as I begged into the phone for her to stay with me. Just stay with me. I begged and cried into that phone in the hopes it would bring her back. But she was already gone.

And it was all my fault.

I couldn't take it. With an angry sob I threw my phone across the room, watching it shatter into a million pieces against the wall. Her voice on a recording wasn't enough.

I was trying to hold onto that sweet feeling, trying to remember the touch of her skin. I needed her with me. Without her I was nothing. I knew I shouldn't have let her go.

I think I may have cried myself to sleep that night, probably. But even after I closed my eyes I could still see her. She invaded my dreams. Her smile, that smile that could bring the world peace, was burning into my brain. I didn't want it to go away. I felt like everything was back to normal ... until I woke up sometime in the early morning, screaming. Sobbing. I knew it was too good to be true. Still in my drunken stage my eyes shut again, though my dreams had turned dark.