Te Quiero

Te quiero. He said those words when he left me hanging. He tortured my heart and played with it. He said something I did not even know what the meaning of is. And now he's here, we're so close but I still feel the gap between us.

"I'm sorry," out of nowhere he spoke.

"For what?" I replied immediately and then I took a sip in my favorite cookies n' cream flavored shake.

"For leaving you," I slowly looked at him while flashing my confused look, pretending that I don't know anything; pretending that I totally forgot what happened between our not-so-long-friendship-relationship.

"Please, don't fake it. You know my instinct's stronger than what you know. You can't hide that from me. Please," And that hit me. He's right and I never won over him in playing this game. Shit.

"That's the problem with you. I can't hide anything from you but you're always keeping something from me. You were never direct in stating what you really feel. You're so unfair!" I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks and then the rain suddenly falls down. Oh great!

"Hold my hand," he stated while he tried to grab my wrist. Ugh. I have no choice and we went running in the rain. UGH! I hate myself for still having this sensation that should've faded long ago.

"Where are you taking me to?" I questioned him while taking a deep breath after I entered his car. "I prefer walking in the rain rather be with you," I uttered like a child who was not given a chance to buy what she wanted.

He held my chin that made us inches away and looked at my eyes. His sincerity is at point! UGH! I hate him for that. "Please be that girl who was always there and will always be there giving me infinite reasons why I shouldn't take my own life. Please. I love that girl and I always will." He slowly put his forehead together with mine. While we closed our eyes appreciating the moment that we were having, my mind reminisced the days when we're tight and close as fuck. We were friends back then but there's something in our hearts that we're not supposed to be just friends. We wanted something more. Or maybe it was just me. This kind of feeling sucks!

Hearing his flowery words made my heart sink. I can feel his warm love and sincerity but no. I cannot do this. "I can't bear losing you again, Marvin." He hugged me but I didn't. I don't want to feel pain. I'm scared. I ain't strong when it comes with him. He was my strength but every damn time I'm with him I can feel my knees weaken and butterflies flying inside my stomach.

"I'll never leave you like you didn't leave me in good times and in bad." I shooked my head to express my fear of losing the kind of relationship that we had as friends. Just friends.

"Look at me, Rachelle. Stop thinking what you shouldn't be thinking of. I am here by your side whatever might happen." I'm still not convinced with him. I can't. I just can't.

I hugged him tight to sense him that this time would be our last. It's the last time we're gonna be like this. He doesn't want to let me go and I can feel his burden. I can feel the pain that I do not want to feel after.

His too much pain made him slowly and helplessly get rid of the tight hug that we just had. He opened the door smiling still but I can sense how heavy he feels. I uttered the last words that I always wanted to tell him, "I loved you and I always will."