Life of Recovery

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I had a 6inch sub (chicken teriyaki) , Coke & a small mcflurry :( . Yesterday I had 2 pieces of peanut butter,1 chocolate chip cookie and 1 medium iced coffee and 1 chip. I know that's really bad that's not even a lot of calories for these days but I can't help it . I'm trying really hard to recover but there is not a day that goes by where I don't think about purging or restricting or binging. ED life is hard :( and you can never really get out of it. And it's funny because whenever you start restricting and all that you say that it will never last and "I just want to lose weight" but it slowly takes over your life. I've had a Eating disorder since I was in the 8th grade . It was worse than. I wouldn't eat more than 200 calories a day. I was 109 pounds . Than begging of grade 9 120. Now , grade 12 , I am over 140 . And I hate it !!!! I hate my body !!!  But I am healthy now! You know you have a problem when you hate being healthy and want to be like 100 pounds again... anyway message me on insta if you want : @skinny_witch

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