And in other news

Afternoon Britain. Celebrities, diets, entertainment, facts. Genuine hilarious interviews, journalistic kinematography. Local moorish news. Opaque precise quirky reporters. Sport. Today's unprecedented variety. Weather. X-cited yappy zestfulness.

"Avoid bananas," caution doctors. Eating fruit guarantees heightened impotence. Just kinky, lonely men notice obvious problems. Quickly resolve such traumas using vitamins. Wild x-changes yield zeal.

"Another body, cold," describe experts, forensically. Gruesome homicides, injuries, juxtapose killers lightly massacring nations. Overall, people question responsibility. Slayers trade unused, vicious weapons, x-acerbating younger zealots.

Armed bodyguards collect dry-cleaning efficiently for George Harrison. Incidentally, Jodie Kidd likes modelling now old Pamela's quietly retired. Sandi Toksvig underwent various wacky x-ploits yesterday - zounds!

Aircraft breakdown causing disruptions. Exact facts, generally hazy. Incompetent jackanapes keelhaul lazy mechanics. Noisy, overstressed patrons quarrel raucously. Sufficient turbulent unrest verifies weekend x-centric Yankee zanyism.

Angry bald children destroy Elmo factory. Government helped, intervening. Juniors kicked local MPs, neatly overpowering politicians. Quaffing Ribena, "Sugary tastes urge vile ways," x-plain young zombies.

Arsenal beat Chelsea. Dunstable eight, five goals headed in. Juventis kicked lots, missed nine openings.Portsmouthquit running since Tottenham usurped victory. Winners' x-citement, yearning zeros.

Across Britain, clouds disperse expeditiously. "Forecast gradual hailstorms, ice," jabber key leaders. Misty nights, overcast, precipitation, quintessentially rainy. Stormy Tuesday, undulating velum Wednesday, x-acting yesterday's zenith.