Dear Omastaz,
You were the first boy I ever truly loved though I never showed it. I want you to know the way I acted had nothing to do with you. You are radiant, like the sun you embody. Forever I will remember the way you held my hand and showed me your favorite songs. The way you talk about things you love makes me want to be one of them. The first time I heard you talk about her, that's when I knew. I was the $1.99 sticker you got for your board, she was the record you played for the entirety of the month after it came out. She didn't like me, so neither did you. When she shot herself through your heart like a precious stone, the only thing worthy of touching something so pure, I was there to pack clay on your wound. I used it to sculpt you into exactly what I wanted. I painted your eyes red and calloused your hands. I blew smoke into your dreams and covered my red tab mistakes with your tongue. I remember the day we were on your back porch and I couldn't help myself. "I'm going to make you fall in love with me one day, Omastaz" You looked at me and, I swear, in that one moment I saw an entire future in your hazel eyes. "I'm already in love with you, dork! I have been since the beginning of freshman year". Taken aback by your response I laughed you off, but just know I remember that. That was my favorite moment of that summer. Eventually, you realized I wasn't kidding and asked me to a movie, The Breakfast Club was playing at a theatre a few towns over. That night we laughed until we cried, we danced under a streetlight and kissed under the stars. A few weeks later after school, you asked me to be your girlfriend. Being with you is like being friends with the Earth; warm, welcoming, like everything that's happening is meant to happen. We talked about everything, you told me about your favorite movies and bands I just had to listen to. I told you about my dreams to open my own tattoo shop, do you remember when you promised to let me tattoo you? I made a lot of promises that I broke too. I remember every single cute thing you did that year. When it ended, I knew it was my fault. I knew that I had utterly destroyed the best part of my life at that point, I also knew there was nothing I could do about it. I hear you've met someone and she makes you happy. I hope so, I hope she can treat you better than I did. I hope you find happiness and peace in life no matter what you do. I will always love you, Omastaz, but I am no longer in love with the thought of you.
