Finding Baltimore

Chapter One

My mother had died a week ago. I was running from the state, I was running towards a light that I hoped would save my darkness. I was about to make the craziest decision of my life but I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. If I didn't do this I would get lost in a sea of unlucky kids, yet, if I did do this I would most likely end up in that very same sea. At least then, I would have some answers, I would know that I had tried everything.

The city bus smelt of old dried up cigarettes. The blue patterned seats where a strange dirt color that refused to come off when I brushed against it. They had an itchy, carpet style covering that itched at my bare thighs, exposed by a pair of shorts. The few lights that were spread throughout the bus flickered with every bump, illuminating shadows in a creepy light.

I was headed with a one way ticket to Baltimore, Maryland. I had an old, stretched out backpack that held what I guessed were now my only belongings. Within them was a leather-bound notebook that held all my research, letters, pictures and directions towards my destination. The week prior to my mother's death I had finally started to gather decent information on my dad. I never knew anything about him, not even a name. My mom hated to talk about him, saying that he was an old chapter that didn't deserve to be opened. Well, I wanted, no, needed to open it.

I had found that he was part of a band that originated from Baltimore, a band that I knew well. It was surprisingly easy to find his neighborhood when you know the right people, and luckily I did. After asking around I got it narrowed down to two streets, and I assumed from the extra information I had gathered from Instagram and interviews that I could pick out the right house. Hopefully.

I was pulled from my thoughts as the bus slowed to a stop and the driver's scratchy voice called out.

"Last stop, Public Square, Baltimore." There was only me and a fatigued-looking traveler loaded down with baggage. I grabbed my bag, throwing it over my shoulder before hopping down the bus steps out into the cold night. I let out a huff in a cloud, pulling my jean jacket closer to me in an attempt to keep some warmth in. It was fucking freezing.

I was standing in the middle of what looked to be a public transportation way, with bus stops on all corners and tourist shops sparkling with overpriced crap. Shrugging off my backpack I pulled out my notebook and flipped to the directions I had written. Looking between that and street signs I managed to find myself at a fork in the road, both sides were my options. My father lived somewhere down one of those.

Sighing I huffed my backpack up my shoulders, gripping the straps in my cold, stiff hand and trudged off towards the right, right was right, right? God sleep deprivation was a bitch.

Not even five minutes down the street I started to regret my decision. What the hell was I even doing? Trying to run from the state in an attempt to find some fictional father who was apart of a super famous band and was always on tour? He would never want me if I could even find him. I was stranded in the middle of the night, in the middle of a foreign city, in a state I had never even been to prior to my little adventure, looking for a house I knew nothing about. Okay, so he had two dogs, he was going to have a fucking weird lawn, and would most likely be the most party-like house on the street. That wasn't going to get me anywhere!

I gripped my hair as I started to freak out. I felt tears of frustration building as I turned around in a circle, looking at all the blacked out windows and empty driveways. I was such an idiot.

I drew my hands back down and wrapped my arms around my middle, going over to sit on the curb of the sidewalk. Hunching down I let out an involuntary shiver. I was such an idiot. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to sleep, no money to pay for anything.

The tears started to fall and I sniffed, whipping across my nose with my sleeve before slowly laying down until I was looking up at the sky, my backpack lying next to my head. The stars were out tonight, and I watched them through blurry lids. I stared blankly up at the sky, tears streaming down my face freezing my ass off with my converse clad feet dangling out into the middle of the road. If someone runs over them at least I can go somewhere warm for the night, with food.