Youth

Chap 2: Life?

I woke up to find myself in the reality of time. *sirens play in the distance* Red and blue colours came flashing, blinding my eyes and sounds coming from a police car matches the pace of my heartbeat-pounding louder and louder. It was time to run. Again. I ran as fast as I could, like a kid eager to win a race to find something exciting at the end. My heartbeat matched the sound of every  footstep I took as I ran and ran in fright of losing freedom.

At this point, I got used to running away in a never ending cycle, escaping from my troubles but in the inside, I'm just a weak, troubled and lonesome, little boy desperate for answers and questioning the meaning of life. What was my purpose and what was I running away from? If I were to stay in the dark and be guilty, full of sadness overwhelming me instead of giving up and facing the truth, confessing my lies and the troubles I've caused, isn't it better for me to get what I deserved. Dying seemed much easier than life. Death is a dangerously beautiful thing I crave and life resembles that of a weak branch hanging onto its tree. Death is something I dream of but can never have. yet. I've never been an easy child, I never gave up when I should have, I never wanted to take the easy way out. I'm a difficult person if I do say so myself. Now I know. I kept running away to find out what life is and why it's so beautifully spoken of when I myself, haven't the slightest idea what's so special about it. I want death but I also want questions to be answered. 
If life is as beautiful as they say, I'll find my purpose on why I'm on the run and if the answer resolves at the end of my story.
*sirens and flashing lights come closer* My heart beats faster and faster and I suddenly fell underwater, blocking all the sounds around me, seemingly safe and quiet but the horrid truth of dangers lurk around. I could only depend on my sight now. I saw two options; a dark alley way and a neglected shop. Dark alley ways always seemed to work out for me when I'm on the run but this time something pulled me towards the neglected shop. I ran to the shop as shards of broken glass rattled in fear from the sounds of sirens coming closer.  At the back of the shop, there was a confined space, perfect  for hiding at the mean time. I could hear again, from the smallest cricket to the loudest speaker and my frightened heart settled down. From the size of the room and surroundings of cobwebs with no purpose,  piles of dust and broken, shattered lights, I assumed that it used to be a storage room filled with new objects for the employee to stock on.
I took a peek from the small window above that was covered in filth and saw the police checking the dark alley way. They later drove off in disappointment and my gut feeling had saved me. Thank Goodness.