Music To My Ears

Implicit Demand for Proof

Song by: Twenty One Pilots
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The piano starts, its melody calm as its beat meets my heart's, making me feel calm and comforted while I'm laying down, looking at the white ceiling. My arms are at the sides of my head and my right hand is tangled in my hair. My breathing is calm as it follows the song, and yet anxious and shallow, as if the air doesn't quite reach my lungs.

The higher notes seem to be dancing, while the lower ones give the rhythm to a beautiful waltz. As if a soft breeze were to blow on a dandelion, letting it fly through the air. The fingers of my left hand start tapping on the bed, following the pianist's touch, immersing me even further into the song.

In the back, an harmony starts, following the notes of a bass, letting me know something is coming. It's soothing, calm, like the sunrise over the sea, telling me the morning has arrived, that the night has come to an end and I can now get away from the darkness.

I close my eyes and let myself believe, I trust this song to guide me. The melody gets a bit louder, as if it's coming closer to me, mixing itself with my soul, like the waves of the ocean reaching the coast and meeting the sand.

I know it's coming, I can feel it. I mentally prepare myself, feeling the warning whispers of the melody as the background sounds stop and I'm left with only a simple, warning melody.
Like assertive steps, the melody becomes louder, or so it seems to me, making me bite my lip in anticipation for what's to come. Am I ready for what's approaching me?

Even if I'm not, it starts. The piano returns, this time strong and with the company of aggressive sounding drums. The sudden violence takes me back for a second, like a bad dream that wakes you up in the middle of the night. Then the drums stop, and I breath once again, knowing the voice is about to come.

As he starts singing I start too, knowing the lyrics by heart and feeling their truth with all my being. I talk to God, just like the singer.
Although I can't really feel Him there, I know He's listening. The words leave my lips filled with honesty and need, the need to know and feel, showing how much I want this moment to be a true prayer.

My faith seems too weak and I just want to feel His power, to acknowledge His strength, to assure myself that He will pull me back to His presence, even if I run away from His way.

"Rain down and destroy me" I sing slowly and softly, hoping that my whisper is strong enough for Him to hear.

The drums come back, but this time I'm used to it, my feelings are entangled with their sound and I just let myself fall. The short pauses give me a chance to listen to my breathing.

The voice comes back, giving sound to my thoughts and doubts, to all the burning questions that I keep deep inside, this time louder and more demanding.

Once again I repeat the same prayer, time and time again, in hopes that He will indeed confirm my faith and guarantee my beliefs with some evidence. Deep down I know that's not how He works, but I go on, I can't give up now.

I start screaming along with the singer, desperate for an answer, any kind of sign.

The song returns to the soothing harmony and I take a deep breath, feeling the presence of God in the simple melody, realizing He was truly there all along.
I hear screams in the distance and the songs ends, leaving me in the silence of His words.
I don't feel like I'm alone anymore.
He's with me.