One Life ✓

Chapter 14: The Aftermath Shift

Grace—San Antonio Memorial Hospital, San Antonio, Texas

Five Days Later

So, this is what it feels like to break a heart.

I don't think I can ever repair the damage I caused TC. Not even if I tried. I cannot. I just cannot.

I couldn't even come to work the last five days, because I know I did it, that it is my fault.

And what makes it worse is the uncontrollable nausea I've had since yesterday. My stomach tosses and turns like a freaking tempest. I think it's guilt, but the OB side of me says otherwise. Which is why I'm here, where I stand right now.

I look down at the pregnancy test. Actually, I don't look. I squeeze my eyes shut so that I can't see even if I tried, like a little kid. I do this for another minute, until I am convinced that I need to know.

A tear slides down my cheek as I stare at the result. A pink line.

Next to it, another pink line, parallel to the first.

My eyes wander to the key on the side of the test. Two parallel pink lines.

Pregnant.

No. I can't be. What did I do? When did I forget? Why do I have to be pregnant with the baby of the guy who I just ended things with, for sure, by rejecting his marriage proposal, for God's sake? What did I do to deserve this? Why could I just have been careful, for once in my entire existence?

I still recall the moment back in med school when I thought I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. I'd woken up next to TC and looked around, grasping the night's memories within me. His lips on mine. Our hearts beating as one. It was as if those memories had erased the guilt from my mind. And now that guilt comes back to me.

I cry and cry, all alone in the hospital bathroom, soaking my perfectly nice pastel blue sundress. However, I forget that other people in the world have to pee, too.

Shannon walks through the door, immediately rushing over to me as soon as she sees me slumped over the sink.

"My stomach hurts, and I want to die, and I don't want to leave here, and I hate myself," I sob, as Shannon brings me into a rarely given hug.

"Oh, no, don't do that," she says gently, patting my back. "We all have our off days. It's just a little upset stomach, Grace. I can get you some meds and you can go home. And TC will not hate you. I promise."

"No, you don't get it!" I hold up the pregnancy test. "That is the reason he will hate me. How could I have been so stupid, Shannon? Why did I let this happen?"

She stands there, mouth open, eyes wide. "Ah...now shit makes sense."

"Does it?" I cry. "Because it sure doesn't to me! I am pregnant and alone, Shannon! I'm going to have to raise a child. Don't you get it? I can't. And the worst part is that I really love TC."

"So why did you say no?" she asks gently.

"I didn't want to! I had to say no because my dad threatened to take me back to India if I said yes, and I wanted to stay here with everyone, because I love you all, I love TC, and this, this is better than never seeing him again." I massage my forehead.

"To hell with your dad!" yells Shannon. "Say yes to him, for your own sake. This is your life, Grace. Don't let this chance slip away."

Drew—San Antonio Memorial Hospital, San Antonio, TX

The classic beep sounds overhead, signaling an ambo's arrival in our loading dock. TC and I run to the entrance, where Sara and Kate wheel in a double gurney, on which lie a man and woman in hunting clothes. "Meet Lindsay and Harry," says Kate.