Meant To Be

Meant To Be

I woke up to the sound of someone holding on for dear life, someone holding on just to live another day, take another breath, perform one more surgery. Surgery- the one thing that keeps most doctors going in life. If it’s not that, then it’s love. I’m in love with Mark Sloan, but I’m also in love with surgery. So, I’m gonna live another day, take another breath, and perform one more surgery. That’s the way life goes, but not for me.

“Meredith,” I thought. She can’t be dead, she’s my sister.  I hope she’s the one screaming, that means she’s still alive.

I was in the back of the plane. One minute, I see Mark and Cristina in front of me, and then the next I see sky. My stomach dropped the second the back of the plane started falling. Then I see Derek. He looked frightened, but peaceful, maybe even dreamy. I guess that’s why they call him, “McDreamy.” He can’t die, my mentor cannot die today. I cannot die today, I have so much more to finish. Out of all the things I memorized, the statistics of mass murders in the U.S., bombings, failed craniotomies, I never thought to memorize plane crashes. Probably because I never expected to be in one.

I bang the seat belt buckle onto the piece of the plane that’s crushing the lower half of my body. It hurts, everything hurts. I can’t feel my legs- they’re probably gone. I can’t feel my left arm- so that’s probably gone too. 

“Derek!” It’s Meredith, it’s her voice. 

“Lexie!” That’s her again.

Then I see them. Mark, Meredith, and Cristina, coming to my rescue. They probably won’t be able to do much, but it’s worth a shot.

“Lexie, Lexie,” says Mark. He’s short of breath. I can’t tell if it’s out of shock, or if there’s something medically wrong with him

“I knew you’d show up,” I say.

“How is she?” Meredith has a worried sound in her voice, I can tell I’m in bad shape.

“She’s awake and responsive,” replies Mark.

“How you doing in there?” He cares, Mark cares, I care.

“I’m great,” I say, struggling to catch my breath.

“Yeah, good girl. We’re gonna get you out of here, okay?” Mark smiles, I love that smile.

“Okay,” I say, returning the smile. I can’t help but focus on him. I gaze into his clear blue eyes.

Mark gets up, and Cristina follows him, moaning in pain. 

“She’s tachycardiac and short of breath,” Mark says to Cristina and Meredith. I look around. I still can’t believe I was in a fricken plane crash.

“We have to find Derek.” She’s worried, I’m worried. I’m worried that I won’t survive, I’m worried that Derek won’t survive, I’m worried that the others won’t survive.

“Okay, you know what, we’ve got Lexie, so go, go find him. Go, go, go try and find him,” Cristina says.

Mark’s panting, something’s wrong. I wish I could help him, instead of lying on the ground, being helpless.

 “We gotta get her out of there,” says Mark, he’s holding his side.

“Pop it back in, pop it back in.” I guess I’m ready to hear more screaming. I’ve never seen Cristina cry, ever, but she is, she’s crying in pain.” Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait… Okay, do it.”

I hear it, the pop, then she screams. I flinch to the sound of it. My eyes grow wide, my pupils expand, I feel it. That scream reminds me of my scream, when we were crashing. The crash begins to replay in my mind again.