the freshman | h.s.

[11] the flavour of discourage .

* L . A. C . E . Y *

Everything was honestly happening so quickly and I had so much on my mind. There was Niall who was so sweet and cute to me and it doesn't seem like he has any intentions of hurting me, at least not that I can see. But Harry betrayed me..and Louis, isn't even an option i dont think. Well, maybe. NO. What am I doing. I need to get myself together.

"No, Harry stop. I...i..i cant do this. No not now." I slid from underneath him and grabbed all my clothes, piling them in front of my naked body.

"Why..what...whats wrong. I thought you wanted to.." Harry asked, confused I could tell. I could hear the disappointment in his voice and see his heart break a little bit in his eyes. But... i cant let that change my decision..I need to be strong about this.

"I...i do. I think.. See, thats my problem i just.. you know. Im sorry. Maybe you should just go."

"Lacey, please. We can.. we can talk about this right. I didnt mean to pressure you or..-"

"Go.. please. Just go. I need to collect myself. I'll talk to you what i know what I want."

Harry got up, got his clothes and I turned my back as he changed. I genuinely felt bad for everything that's happened. It's such a ....sucky feeling, for better words I lack. It just stinks. I just cant give something like this up yet. Even if I asked him to.. I clearly rethought my spur of the moment stupidity.

He approached the door, opening it, before he walked out he turned back and looked at me. Not saying anything. Just dropping his head, exiting, and closing the door.

I let out a long sigh. *Im so stupid* I thought. Holding my clothes closer to my body, squeezing them as if they were a bunch of small stress balls. You know what, im just thinking too much. That's what it is.

I stopped crumpling my clothes and put them back on. Then just sat there.. thinking. Over thinking as always.

Everything just hit me. What i've done. Whats happened. There are 3 guys.. Niall. Harry and Louis and they all want different things from me and I just dont know what to do. What if I choose the wrong guy and end up dead or something. Or what if I dont choose any of them and im missing out on something amazing. I dont know what to do with myself anymore .

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and i quickly brushed it away. My mind was racing. My heart was pounding. The flavor of discourage and disgust filled my mouth. I was losing it.

"AHHHHHHH." I let out a loud, piercing, ear wrenching scream and all the tears I was holding back just began to flow.

"What do i do...what is there to do." I said in between sobs and breaths.

I layed on the couch and just cried myself to sleep. Maybe everything will be clear with time.. or maybe i just need to get away. Leave. Start over. Again.

* A/N ;OKAY GUYS . so sorry for this crazy short update. I really just needed to move on with my story. what do you think Lacey should do? Ahhh. This is crazy. Ill be updating more now that i have a sense of what i want to do. x *