When You Said You Love Me

Chapter Nine

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I going insane?
No, that can't be it. It must be hormones or something.
Yeah, hormones.

I sigh, setting my pen down as my train of thought goes in circles. I thought I'd be able to do a bit of work to get my mind off of things, but I can hardly focus on the words on the pages, let alone sign the documents. I've been sitting in front of the same papers for almost two hours, the screen on my laptop still opened to a stock page. I shouldn't be so hung up over Joey Wheeler, but I am. And I don't know why.
I sigh again, something I've been doing often recently, and exit the web page. Instead of logging off like I had planned, I find myself opening another browser and staring at the blank search bar.
"Well, what the hell am I supposed to ask?" I ask myself, frustrated. "It's not like asking 'why don't I hate this person anymore?' will turn up any useful results."
I sit there for probably a good ten minutes before deciding what to type.
'How do Alpha hormones effect the brain'
I don't put a question mark at the end, because who does that online anyways? The results are all about how Alpha hormones effect how Alphas behave, which I already knew. One result is a link to a website talking about physical attraction, and how an Alpha develops a 'type'. I click on it without being too interested, and my eyes scan the information slowly. There's a list of contributing factors when it comes to who an Alpha finds attractive, and I skim over it.

An Alpha may find someone attractive if:

They spend a lot of time together

The person plays a significant role in the Alpha's life

There is strong emotion between the two

The Alpha enjoys the other's scent

It is a really long list, and a lot of the points make me feel a bit nauseous. There are around thirty contributing factors, and a lot of them...
A lot of them remind me of Joey.
'No. It's stupid. Just someone who thinks they know everything.' I reassure myself. 'We hate each other. It's weird. It's impossible.'
I click out of the web page and log off, then look down at the papers in front of me. I take a deep breath and try one more time to push Joey from my mind.
But even as I start reading and signing the documents, I can't help but think, 'Stupid Wheeler...'

**perspective change**

It's funny how no one ever really suspects that there's something wrong with them. You don't really think about having a disease until someone tells you that you have it. Maybe it's normal not to think about that kinda thing.
I sit on the hospital bed, my legs dangling off the side and my eyes looking at my lap. The nurse had explained as best she could, I guess, but I can be a bit dense sometimes.
"It's something you were born with." She'd said, all frowny and sympathetic. "It's not really deadly at least. And it started affecting you later than most Omegas."
I don't really care that I'm sick. It's not really a sickness anyways. I forget what she called it, but it has something to do with my heats. It's pretty uncommon, and it's 'cause of too many hormones building up. She called it a 'hormone flood' to help me understand a bit better, and said that the 'flood' is caused by my heat.
And then there's the embarrassing part.
See, I don't usually 'release stress' unless I'm in heat. It's all too awkward. Plus, I don't have a mate to do that kind of thing with, so it just keeps building and building for three months. I don't know how I'm gonna explain to my friends... That I need to get a mate to keep from going into a coma or somethin'.
When they walk in, I look up and smile like everything is fine. "Hey guys. They said I'm able to leave whenever."
"That's great!" Yugi grins. "I'm sure Atem wouldn't mind bringing you home."
Yami nods. "Of course. Anything for a friend."
The ride home is pretty quiet. When we finally get there, Yugi turns to look back at me from the front seat. "What did the nurse say to you, by the way? You've been really quiet this whole time."
Behind his friendly smile, I see worry. I laugh and wave off his question. "Uh, nothin'. She just asked me out is all."
I get out of the car quickly because I'm pretty sure they don't believe me. "Anyways, you guys be safe! I gotta go... Do dishes!"
I run inside, leaving my friends to be confused.

//806 words!
//y'all enjoy that plot? I'll probably update again soon, but don't hold your breath all the same. Just in case.
//anyways, stay tuned and stay safe!