Love from Lucy...

Permanent

Isn't it funny? That in a few years on this day I could be getting married or it could be my child's birthday but today, it's just a regular shitty school day. Best part is, I'm glad it's a regular day because it's one more regular day to find my purpose.

I haven't yet figured out why I was put on this earth. I can't quite understand why I would be here with all these inspirational people and just be me. It doesn't make sense. I'm no one special so why am I here? I'm determined to figure it out.

I have 6 months till my 17th birthday. 6 months till my chemotherapy starts. 6 months to find my purpose. If I don't. I will not take the chemotherapy, the treatment that can be given to more deserving people. People who can give back to the world in ways I can't. They can change this world.

I know it sounds stupid. You're probably thinking; "why wouldn't you take a chance to live?" But the thing is, I don't want to. I don't want to live without a purpose. Another thing is I don't have any friends.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not bullied by the whole school, I'm not thinking of taking my life or crying every day I get home. I just don't see the point in making friends if... I'm not here permanently. If I did make friends then, well wouldn't they be upset? Like if I don't find a purpose? And I don't have my treatment?

Other people aren't permanent either.
"Lucy wait please! It's really not that bad! It didn't mean anything I swear! Lucy!"
You can't trust people. They always leave. Or lie. Or worse, they watch you with guilty looks as you walk down the halls, missing you silently, knowing all of your secrets but never telling. That's the worst.

Stepping towards my locker is a raven haired girl. She's obviously new and obviously lost.
She looks at me with pleading eyes and the ice princess act melts away.
"I'm so sorry! Is this your locker?! Oh my gosh you must think I'm so stupid! I just...today is my first day! I can't find my locker or any of my classes!
I'm such a mess!" She spoke quickly, panicked in her voice.
"No no honestly don't worry about it! I'm Lucy by the way! Let me have a look at your locker number and timetable, I'll make sure you know where your classes are!"
She smiled shyly "are you sure? Don't you have other classes?"
"Free period" I say shrugging
"Okay cool! I'm Amy. Amy Price."
And I can't help but wonder if this mysterious raven haired girl could help me find my purpose.

Turns out she's in all my classes except English.  And then I realised that I have a friend.
I walk home in the rain. Life would be so much easier if my dad stayed. Or if Josh had a car. Either way, neither of them are helping. It suddenly starts pouring torrential rain and I run . Finally entering the house I shake off my soaked blazer and slip off my water filled, black school flats.

No one is home.
I do 5 laps of the house before I realise this and on the fridge I see a note.
"Lucy
Me and Josh are going to visit your father for a week. You can't come because you're too young. I've left emergency money in the cookie jar and you can have a friend round to keep you company. No boys!!
Love from Mum"
Oh for fucks sake! They're never here! I can't be bothered with this family anymore...
I walk up the stairs slowly and see myself in the landing mirror. I look like a drowned rat. And I need to have a shower.
I creep into my room and slowly peel off my soaked uniform. It's honestly soaked through to my underwear.
I slip my panties off and unhook my bra. I then stand in front of the mirror. I pull my hair from the messy bun it was in so it cascades down my back. I then point out a good thing from my body. It gives me confidence. Today it's my breasts being a perfect size.
Suddenly I don't want a shower.
I crawl under my bed and produce my vibrator. Days like these are perfect for this. I lie on my bed rubbing my clit. Moaning, I insert my fingers into my dripping pussy. After a while I switch on the vibrator and put it on my clit slowly sliding it into my wet pussy.
"Nurghhh"
"Oh ohhhh ohhmygodoghhh"
I explode into my first orgasm. As I put my fingers back in I notice a dark haired boy stood in my doorway. I scream pulling my quilt over me when I notice his boner.
Ummm who what when and why is he in my house?!
"Urm hey? So is your brother home?"
"Oh my god does it look like he's at home? No! Why are you in my house?"
"Why didn't you close your door whilst fingering yourself? Not that I'm complaining"
Jesus.
"Because I didn't expect anyone to come in?!"
"God, you have the most perfect body..."
Um okay then. I mean he's like really hot so I guess it doesn't matter...
"Thanks? So why are you here then?"
"Josh said I could stay for a week. Don't tel your mom though she'd kill him"
I'm gonna kill him.
"So you watched me masturbate and then expect me to live with you?" I say and then moan at the vibrator still in my pussy.
"Haha I think it'll be fun you know" he takes a step towards me "maybe I'll get you see that perfect body. Explore it. Make your knees weak and your toes curl."
"Try it?"
He pulls off his shirt and loosens his belt.
His dick is huge. Like massive.
He sits on the bed next to me.
"Permission to move the quilt?"
"Permission gran- ohhhmhgod urghhhh"
He moves the quilt and takes the vibrator out of my vagina. Then he spreads my legs and starts kissing and sucking my clit. He tongues my pussy and I squirt all over his face. I see his huge cock is hard.
I rollhim over so he's lay down on the bed and I suck his dick for a bit. Then I slide onto his dick slowly making him grunt and I bounce up and down and we both orgasm so hard and he cums all in my pussy. Then he eats my ass out and gives me anal. Then I sit on his face and I rub my clit whilst he eats my pussy.
"Oooooh urgggggghhhh yess ohh don't stop dadddy daddy omg" I squirt all over his face and he rolls me over and sticks his huge cock into my soaking pussy and fucks me till I can't walk.