Anatome

238 days. It's been exactly 238 days since he has been gone. We were the perfect couple. Well i thought we were, I guess he thought differently. He told me that he had to leave for tour and that we would keep in touch and 'make it work'. That didn't happen. He never called, texted, or skyped me after he left that day. He never tried to contact me, its like he forgot I existed. I guess thats what happens when your boyfriend of 3 years leaves for tour with his band after they got famous. I haven't been the same since, i can never be one hundred percent happy anymore. It's like he took a piece of me with him when he left that day.

I've been hiding behind a smile because i'd rather not talk about why i'm sad all of the time. But today was different. I don't feel as sad today as I have been for the last 9 months. I rolled out of bed and dragged myself to the shower. Once i got out i trudged over to my closet and pulled out my uniform for my job, which was a simple white button up with a black pencil skirt. After getting dressed, I walked through my small apartment to the kitchen for breakfast which was going to be cereal because i'm simply not in the mood to cook today. After my little breakfast I grabbed my phone and my purse and walked out of the door. I stood awkwardly beside an old couple in the elevator, they looked so happy. It was like they didn't have a care in the world. I wish I could be like that. After that awkward elevator ride, i walked out of the lobby and onto the streeets of London. I moved here after he left becasue i thought that a change would help with my depression. The first few weeks were okay but then the voices came back, the voices that tell me that i wasn't good enough for him and that we didn't work out because of me. That i ruined our relationship. But back to reality,

I walked into the old diner to be greeted by the warm welcoming face of my boss, Mrs. Heidi. She was a kind old lady that always gave the best advice and the only person that would give me a job when i moved here. She gave me a kind smile and walked to the back, probably to make sure that everyone was on task in the kitchen. I hung up my purse and coat and then i grabbed my notepad and walked to the front to get the day started. I walked over to a booth that held two old men who were chatting away. "what can i get you today?" I asked, starting the day. Today was slowly going by with nothing interesting happening, but the end of the day was almost here and Mrs. Heidi and I were the only two here still. The diner was empty and I was sweeping when the bell rang signalling that someone walked in the door. Sighing, I put my broom up and grabbed my notepad. I walked over to the booth that held four young guys, all looked to be around my age. When i got to the booth my eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. Sitting there laughing with his bandmates was the man who left and broke my heart, Austin Carlile. I could feel the anxiety and panic bubbling in the pit of my stomach and i felt as though I was going to throw up any second now.

I pushed all of that down and cleared my throat, getting their attention. I was hoping that none of them would notice me. I've changed alot since they left, I died my hair dark brown and got a few piercings. I started wearing more makeup and I look like a completely different person. "I'm Allie and I'll be your server this evening, what can i get you to drink?" I managed to choke out. Austin looked at me for a second and I was pretty sure he recognized me, but thankfully he just told me what he wanted to drink. After writing their drinks down, I rushed into the kitchen with tears welling up in my eyes. I leaned onto the counter and took a deep breath trying not to break down here. Mrs. Heidi walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder,

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied. Everything, my mind screamed for help as a tear rolled silently down my cheek.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"trust me, it's nothing. I'm just tired."

"Alright dear, then finish up this customer and we'll close"

"okay"

I grabbed a napkin and wiped my face off, which sadly took my make up with it. Now he'll definetly recognize me, I sighed making their drinks. I grabbed the tray that held their drinks and walked back out to the front trying to hide my face by looking down. I set all of their drinks down in front of them and took a step back, reaching for my notepad so i could take their orders. "Alright what will you guys be having this afternoon?" I tried to sound cheery and smile but i just ended up sounding drowsy and depressed. Alan, Aaron, Phil, and Tino all told me their orders and Austin finally looked up, ready to tell me his order. A look of surprise took over his face when he looked at me and i'm guessing that means that he recognized me. Great. Here comes the anxiety.

"Alyssa?"