Mr.Stranger: All The Boys I loved Before Contest Entry.

Mr. Stranger

Dear Stranger,

From the time that we first met I think I was scared of you. 

I really, truly was. We met during my first year and you had the smile that every guy should have. It was warm and well approached, I could tell you might've practiced for a while before you could have a smile that good. 

Of course, you noticed me before I could really notice you, I was too self absorbed at the time, I payed attention to the biggest tragedy while you stood off trying to help us. After we broke up it took you three months to confess and I commend you for that completely. That night was one of the sweetest I've ever had I think. We stayed and talked till six in the morning, we talked all day the next it was like a chapter similar to a fairytale but I just couldn't shake the daunting fear that I had, that you would betray me like someone had done once before. We tried dating but I was held back too much by fear where as you wanted to go full force, it broke my heart when we broke up and I watched as you went from girl to girl. I tried to pretend like it was fine but I think the others realised before you did, how I felt about you. 

We sort of tried again, never being official but always being there for one another similar to a best friend with a sprinkling of romance from time to time, even sneaking you over in the middle of the night to just enjoy each other's company. Every break, we had we tried to spend together and of course there were times when other people got involved trying to help "fix" because they saw me shed a tear or got fed up with my constant talk about what was happening. I guess that's when we really started to drift never as friends though. We ensured we'd be friends no matter what would happen.

We talked about what we wanted to be in a few years, how we would be the biggest of stars, how I'd be the designer and you'll be my test subject. We'd laugh and cry, you'd hide your feelings about anything truly deep for most of the year and I'd eagerly try to suppress mine. 

My fear slowly began to wash away as I watched what was happening in front of me morph into a  true bond. You wouldn't purposely hurt me. I understood that now. That's when I had to leave though. I had to that summer. "Only a two hour drive away." They said as they forced me into that truck that day. I couldn't imagine not seeing your face, not getting your hugs, not being there with you anymore. I cried everyday when I first got here, I begged to move back so I wouldn't be so lonely. It was such a painful summer. Of course, we couldn't stop talking to each other so we kept going and going. Eventually we tried long distance as more than a couple friends, never works. 

So here I am. Watching you from whatever updates I can and maybe a few texts, heartbroken that you've moved on so quickly but I can only be what I am supposed to be. I'll repress my feelings again, supporting you and being here understanding that we can't be together as anything more than friends. Of course, you won't answer like you used to and you won't want to talk day and night but if you're happy, I'll be happy sitting here watching you grow.

 As long as when I go down to visit I can see you I think that I'll be okay.