Vera In Love

Eight

"Please stay."

Nathan tightens his grip around me. My heart is beating rapidly against my rib cage. We stand like this in silence. Nathan's breath warm on my neck. I can smell the vanilla scented conditioner. Time seemed to stop as he held me. I can feel the flex of his arms when he shifts himself. This is the closest I've been with a guy. Nathan and I never shared kinship besides holding hands and that one close-kiss at Azul Cafe. We never hugged - don't know if dancing with him at the wedding counts. Besides the point, his warmth radiated through me.

"미안해. I'm sorry," Nathan whispers against my neck. "He just pisses me off a lot."

I gulp. "It's okay. Are you alright?"

I can feel him shrug his shoulders nonchalantly. "Stay the night Vera," Nathan says.

He unwraps his arms, but only to turn me around to face him. His hair stuck to his forehead, lips chapped.

"I can't," I mumble.

Nathan raises a brow. "Why?"

"We're not a . . . a . . . a couple," I stumble out.

Nathan smirks. "Should we be a couple?"

I gaze up at him with wide eyes and blushing cheeks. Nathan wiggles his brows playfully.

"Even if we are a . . couple. I couldn't stay."

Nathan tilts his head. "왜?"

"Change of clothes," I say obviously.

"I've plenty of oversized t-shirts," Nathan says wrapping his arms around my waist again. "But let's do it. Vera, I want to have the honor to be your boyfriend."

Is he being serious? I shake my head. He's drunk, Vera. He can't be serious.

"I am serious. 당신과 함께하고 싶어. I want to be with you, Vera."

"Nathan, you're drunk."

"Maybe, but I know what I am saying. Ever since I saw you walk through that door on the first day of fall semester - I knew. That I had to get to know you. I noticed you everyday in class. You're so neat and organized. I always admired your passion of literature and the arts whenever the prof asked a question. I thought, fuck I'm in deep shit - in a good way. I was so fucking happy when you dropped your pencil case the same time I walked in. That was my chance, and I won't regret it. 당신을 아주 많이 좋아해. I like you very much. We can take it slow - turtle's pace. What do you say Vera?"

I gaze up to meet his eyes. Nathan's cheek had a rosy tint to them. Unconsciously, I run my fingers through his wet hair - pushing his hair back. Nathan runs his fingers through my thick mane of waves. His thumb brushing against my cheek. I nudge my head to the palm of his hand. Wanting to feel his warmth. My lips plant a small peck on his palm.

Did I want this? To be Nathan Park's girlfriend? He'd be the first - in everything that evolves in a relationship. Obviously he won't be my first kiss. That seven minute in heaven with that odd fourth grader shouldn't count. He just quickly pecked my lips and we sat there - avoiding eye contact - for six minutes. It shall not count.

Sigh. Why was I so afraid to flip the page? I like dating Nathan. Heck, I love it too much - that we don't do enough of it. My family - especially Wito - accepted him. And we weren't officially dating a few weeks ago. Has it only been a few weeks? It feels like months I've known him and we're just starting to realize our feelings towards one another. Feelings. They are so foreign to me. No guy had made me feel the way Nathan has. Frida set me up in a shit ton of blind dates - which none worked out - and none of them made me nervous. Nathan does. A touch of his hand, my brain cells start to bounce off the walls.