Saviors [A SVU and Bensler Fan Fic]

[Chapter Forty-Four]

"Thanks for coming, John. It means a lot." I breathed, as I hugged my father's old partner and his best friend.

"Of course, Liv. I needed to come." He spoke, and I nodded. He stepped away from me and hugged Cynthia. I ran my hand over my cheeks and walked quietly over to where Elliot stood.

Elliot wrapped his arm around my waist and kiss the top of my head.

"Did your Grandma call you yet?" Elliot asked, and I frowned.

"No. I don't think she's coming. She hates us all for what happened after my mother died."

"She better get her shit together, because your mother would want her here. Your mom would want her to realize how important he was to you, Cy, and herself." Elliot sighed.

"I'm going to get some air. I'll be back in a while."

[*]

I sat on a bench under a large oak tree in the corner of the church's courtyard. The wind was blowing and it was colder than it had been in June in awhile.

I kept seeing more and more cars pull up into the parking lot and people dressed in black or in police uniforms would walk towards the church in large groups. I knew that I should be in there and thanking everyone for coming, but all I wanted to do was sit here and watch. I didn't want to face the music and go in there and know that my father is never coming back. That he'll never watch Cynthia get married, or meet our future children, or see Elliot and I become detectives.

He was gone... forever.

"You are going to catch a cold out here." Serena sighed, as she brought out Elliot's jacket. She draped it over my shoulders before she sat next to me.

"It's June. It's supposed to be hot and sunny." I sighed, as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"Why are you out here, Olivia?" She asked, and I sighed as I closed my eyes and took a slow breath.

"Because I can't go in there and know that we are laying my father to rest. Serena, this is where I've been going to church for 15 years. I always sat in the eight row, and I had always sat between my parents. Now I'm going in there and sitting in the front row, Cynthia to one side and Elliot to the other. This just isn't how it's supposed to be." I replied as a few tears trickled down my cheeks and onto my black dress.

"I know, love. And I'm so sorry that this is happening again. I promise, however, that I'll be here for you and your sister. I'll try my hardest to be a good mom, even if I haven't proved that in the past." She breathed. I nodded as I laid my head on her shoulder and tried not to sob. She wrapped her arms around my body and held me closer as she rested her cheek on the top of my head.

"Thanks for being here..." I whispered.

"Of course. Elliot said he'd come to get us when they are ready to start. So just try and relax a bit."

[*]

The funeral went on for almost three hours. Tons of people showed up and spoke about my father, and how great of an officer, detective, and captain he was. I couldn't stand going up there because I knew I'd be crying and everything I said would be jumbled up and a mess. So, Elliot went up there to speak for Cynthia and myself because she even told me she was going to be a mess if she had to talk about him.

"Hello everyone, I'm Elliot Stabler. I married Don's daughter, Olivia a year ago. However, I've known the Cragens since I was 13, so about 10 almost 11 years. Don was the man you went to when you needed help with something. Olivia went to him when her then friend Cynthia called and said that she was in trouble. Olivia went straight to her father and he helped Cynthia and him and his late wife Marge adopted her. He was a great man in general, and if my wife or her sister could've come up here and not disappeared into a puddle of tears they'd tell you the same thing. Thanks." Elliot spoke before he walked down and sat next to me again. He leaned over and kissed my temple gently before breathing that he loved me into my ear.

As we waited for the next person to go up and speak, I turned to look over my shoulder. Bernie smiled softly at me and reached forward and squeezed my shoulder. But as I turned back around, my grandmother stood with her cane in hand and dressed in all black. I've seen her every once and a while, but we never talked. It would just be in passing when Elliot and I'd go to Albany for a day or something to make sure my mother's grave was clean and there were plants there. She was still in all black because she insisted that wearing all black was appropriate even if her daughter has been gone for several years.

"Absolutely everything that everyone has said has been utter lies. Don was a horrible man. He didn't treat my daughter how she deserved to be treated, and he drank like no other person has been able to drink. He didn't allow her to get pregnant and have their own children so they had to adopt abandoned children who were just as much the filth of the earth as he-" 

I didn't let my grandmother continued to rant. I stood up and grabbed her arm and didn't even try to be gentle as I dragged her out the way she came in. I shut the door that led into the lobby and I grabbed her jacket and shoved it into her hands.

"How dare you do this?" I spat, and she eyed me angrily.

"How dare I tell them the truth? You should know better than to treat me like this, Olivia. Marge taught you to respect your elders!"

"She taught me that people who deserve to be respected are the only ones I should respect. You treat everyone like crap. My mother wouldn't want you to be shit talking her husband! She loved him so much, and he loved her so fucking much too. And I know I'm in a church and swearing, but God won't care so don't bring that up!" I yelled. She slapped me across my cheek and it just made me even angrier.

"Leave," I ordered as I pointed at the door.

"No, I'm going back in there, to tell the truth."

"No, you are leaving because everything you have ever said is lies. And you have no say when it comes to the fact he's getting buried beside my mother." I spat, before turning on my heel and leaving her in the lobby alone.

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