𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐧 » goodbye good girl

CHAPTER TEN

TAKING A DEEP breath in, I sat on the front steps to my front door.

It felt like I was meeting Cartman for the first time.

I was so nervous.

Maybe I was nervous because we're actually going to have a serious conversation, and it could lead to an actual fight.
Another reason my stomach was tied into knots tighter than the slipknot, was probably because I was actually going to take the advice from my mom and Mark, and man up to tell Cartman that I like him.

He's going to turn me down for Julie.

The grip of my hand tightened on my hoodie sleeves when I saw the silhouette of Cartman's body trudging down the sidewalk. He looked just as nervous as I did, but I know he would try to play it off a little cooler.

I sighed, my breath showing up in the air full of chills.
I stood up to my boot covered feet and shot him an awkward smile once he walked up to me.

His hands were stuffed into his coat pockets, head hanging a bit low.
"So, what's this all about? You wanted to tell me something?" He asked, raising his head a bit to look at me with a brow perked slightly.

I glanced to the snow covered driveway and sighed again, stuffing my hands into my pockets as well.
I leaned back slightly and looked back up to him.

"Cartman, I -" I cut myself off and groaned.
He looked at me curiously, mind completely blank.

"I'm really sorry that I seem like I've been changing, or whatever, but it's just that . ." I trailed off awkwardly. I even tried to bite my lip to stop myself from choking out the humiliating truth, but I had to get this pathetic shit over with.

"I was jealous of you and Julie. All you talk about is her to all the guys. So why would I stick around somebody who's going to just talk about some girl I don't like when I could be around other friends without stress!" I exclaimed, holding up my hands.

He furrowed a brow and his lips twitched into a crooked smile.
"Oh, (Y/n), don't tell me you're that jealous?" He smirked.

I frowned.
"Cartman, I think I like you." I felt my entire body heat up. It felt like being attacked by fire ants.

He flinched and shot me a nervous smile.
"W-What?" He chuckled awkwardly.

I glared slightly. "I like you. I don't mean to, but I always have. It's been years feeling like this." I frowned. My voice even sounded painful.
"I just never wanted to believe it." Oh, a crack in my throat.

I cringed at my voice and looked away from his face. I don't even want to know what his expression is.
Probably all judgy.

"Wait, you're actually being serious?" He asked. His tone sounded shocked.

I looked at him and again and nodded hesitantly.
"Yeah . ." I mumbled softly.

"So that's why you've been so weird lately!" He pointed at me.
I flinched a little bit at that exclamation.

He didn't even give me an answer on how he felt about this.

"Uhm, I guess."