My name is Marie. I've had a vary ruff year but righting always help me let out my feelings. I'm going to read to you what I wrote today.
"This week is gonna be the hardest of them all. It's been a year since I've let you become a part of my life. Thursday will be the hardest. I remember the 1st day we met. I was so scared I didn't wanna talk but my sister pushed me to. you were so tall but I didn't notice, that smile took my breath away. I couldn't I couldn't think off anything else. I don't notice till my sister said something, I questioned it because I hadn't noticed. I remember your black base ball shirt and cargo shorts. we were so nervous we stood almost a foot away from each other. The ice broke at home coming when you kissed me and it seemed like everything was perfect. Sunday was my 1st date ever. we went to a movie and I'm ashamed to say I don't even know what the movie was about. we went through a lot together so I thought. you lied about a lot, you pretended to be other people a lot, told me your dad died, told me your best friend died, even got into a fake shouting. you dumped me on Christmas. knowing I let you in, I gave you the opportunity to hurt me. it makes me angry. I don't wanna give anyone else that opportunity. that just means forever alone. but I hate you, I hate what you did to me, I hate the person you are. I love the person I thought you were. sometimes that's how life works. we get hurt and don't wanna be herd or seen. I cry all the time hoping things will get better but they don't. as you let the pain engulp you. you become empty and lost without hope of ever getting better and as you sit in silence wondering what you did, what you did to that one person to make them wanna hurt you that bad, to make you wanna be invisible. the worst part is knowing that you let that person hurt and lie to you for so long and didn't stop and think to your self and think I deserve better. You still don't you'd just rather be alone that hurt everyday for the rest of your life. you feel damaged destroyed broken and alone. I miss him even though all he ever did was stab me in the chest every second of every single day. its been a year since everything and I'm still hung up on all the things he did. feeling like I cant breath and seeing him everyday makes me wanna scream. when I see him I wanna smile though all the shit he did to me because I loved him. I hate my self for loving him because I know he did me so wrong. the brake up notes, the cheating, and the old oh my mom wont let me be with you, I herd it all coming from. you. when w got into an argument and yo grabbed me leaving a bruise I didn't say anything because I thought it was an accident an I didn't want you to feel bad for hurting me. I don't eat or sleep vary much. everyone stares at me because they herd what happened. you wont let anyone see your pain. he let me fall further and further in love with him but never said that the love he feels for me was slipping away. I wont give any one a chance.
YOU ARE READING
Thought I'd never find you
RomanceI never thought I would find love not again. I had given up on ever finding anyone. I thought no one would ever love me. I had my shot and I trusted him that was were I messed up I never wanted to trust anyone ever again.
