teenage mind

you're in my veins

you left your mark on me, and I can’t forget you. it's like no matter what I fucking do, your name is tattooed on my heart and trust me I tried to get rid of it. tried to cover it with a different name, tried to drink it away, tried to stop feeling you through my veins but nothing ever works. everything goes back to you.

it's always you. it's you all the damn time. it's you when I’m with him. it's you when I’m alone. it's you no matter what I do or who I’m doing it with and I give up.

I give up on trying to erase you. I give up on trying to replace you with something else, anything else because it only brings me back to the place I was when you decided I was no longer enough for you.

and I don’t understand why it's so hard to forget a person who forgot you first. I don’t understand how I can still feel the exact same way we met when I don’t even really know you anymore. you only exist in my memories and the pictures I still have of you.

you are just a ghost of everything that ever was yet I still feel everything so damn clearly, as if we were back 11 months ago when you first told me you loved me.

everything is so damn clear except you're so far away I don’t know how I can still see you so well.

—dizzapear