Impossible!

Talk/0.1%

I'm finally 6th grade, since I skipped a level. It feels kind of sad because I couldn't hang out much with Jade and the others since our schedules might be different or in some events we couldn't meet each other at all.

However I made new friends in my class who seem to have become close friends with Jade and the others! I'm really happy they get along with each other well. We meet each other every lunch, but sometimes we don't really see each other.

Oh yeah, Carlos is also wearing glasses now, and my 'crush' towards "him" hasn't changed. Days were going on smoothly, and Jade still ships me with "him" and still drools over her crush.

Today, something happened. Since Carlos and I don't have much contact except him waving and saying "Hi Laila" to me, today was really unexpected.

I was waiting for my school bus at the school gates, not until Carlos came along with my 2 friends. At first it was okay because I had 2 people along, but then things got awkward when the 2 of them went home. It was only the 2 of us!

She broke the silence and suddenly said, "PLEASE TELL ANGELA THAT I DON'T LIKE HER!" 

"What?" I said in surprisement. Angela was a not-so pretty but not-so ugly girl in our classroom and is kind of like those hipster girls on Tumblr, etc. She laughs very weirdly and is very popular due to her craziness and y'know--hipster-ish-ness.

"That new transferee--SHE said I liked Angela when I don't!" She cried. "Just because I held her hand to put indelible ink on her finger doesn't mean I like her or anything!"

"Ohhh, I knew something was going on between you two!" I cried out, giggling. Angela's 'barkada' kept talking to Carlos and I noticed one of her 'barkada' friends talked to Carlos on the staircase for a bit long.

"Now they're teasing me," She replied. "I don't even LIKE Angela! She sucks!"

Carlos kept babbling and even demonstrated how he held Angela's hand, and I noticed it was okay, but then deep in myself I felt my heart (for 0.000001%) flutter.

We even talked about her admitting that she once liked Jesseca, a pretty girl who's smile shines the whole universe.

"I knew you liked her," I said. "I mean it was pretty obvious!"

"I know," He replied. "But that was before!"

"Y'know, Collyne even said that if she became a tomboy, she'll date Jesseca as her girlfriend!" 

I froze there for a moment and thought to myself, "Wow, that escalated too quickly."

"They're even asking you," She said. 

I understood what she meant. She meant that people ask Carlos or think he likes me. I understood him, but I acted dumb and stupid instead.

"What?" I ask--in a fake manner. "What 'me'?" 

"YOU," She replied, making emphasis on the YOU to make me understand, but I continued to act dumb and stupid instead.

We continued talking, and I even asked if she had already (menstruation), but she replied with "If you're asking me if I have chocolates, then no." (his response made me laugh, okay)

When he was trying to say something, 2 girls came and they were Carlos's friends, which meant I had to leave Carlos alone now since he had more comfortable friends to talk to. 

TBH, when Carlos demonstrated and held my hands 3 times, it made my heart (0.000000001%) flutter. I don't know why but I might have this slight crush/like towards him. I'm never telling anyone this feeling, though.

Because if I ever told anyone, they might tell, even Jade, I won't tell her--yet. (probably) Argh! Why am I feeling this way?