National suicide prevention awareness month 2018

September 12th

Hi hi!! Chimi here with today's post. Today's post includes some body art of mine. Chimi's not good at drawing so haha 😅

I drew a interpretation of the Earth 🌏, this is done on my left wrist.

I am right-handed, but that is not the main reason that I drew this on my left. When I was younger (year 6) and first learnt about veins and arteries, my teacher told us a story about someone's artery being cut (the person was messing around and accidentally broke some glass). I didn't understand at the time but it really freak me out, I now know it's because I'm not good with blood...but I will never know if it's because of her story or not. However after her story whenever I looked or touched my wrist I felt intense fear.

Anyway when I was 13 something happened....and well I was left with a few scars on my wrist, and one on top of my wrist(which is worst one). After it first happened I could not even look at my wrist without feeling fear. I was not filled with fear from the event which caused the scars, but an irrational fear that I could not stop. Even though now when I look back on it, I wish I told someone how I felt instead of hiding my fear, and covering (the top scare and one of the bottom ones) it up by wearing a watch and avoiding looking at my wrists (I could sometimes look at my right wrist but I was still scared, I just hid it better). It has taken time but I have improved on how I feel. It took time and patience (and A LOT of control) for me to be able to not only look but touch my wrist. I am still slightly afraid, but just like time is healing my scars (one is completely gone, and the rest are noticeable but less now) it also is allowing my to grow.

One of the scars went over one of my veins (and they were all fairly deep) when I first saw it all I felt was fear, stupidity, hatred(aimed at myself) and many more emotions and feelings that I really, really wish I could take back.

If your still reading you might be wondering why Chimi's having a little rant about her self, or how this is relevant to the theme of this book, of the image I drew. When I decided I was going to draw the Earth I had almost every part of my body I could use (a small part of my upper right and lower left arms had something on if you want to see check out my random life book) but I thought that it would be more meaningful to myself to pick the place that causes me to feel so much....well emotions and stuff. I like to think the meaning I have given it (the drawing) is that;

In this world we are just a spec, a small tiny spec.
That is all anyone and everyone will be.
But no matter how small and insignificant you may feel.
Your life is worth the same as anyone else.
A live is worth the exact same and a live.
Age, family, skin, religion, gender, sexuality, and many more.
Some people will think that these will effect how much you live is worth, but they don't.

'Equivalent exchange' that is a saying/quote from a manga/anime called Fullmetal alchemist/Fullmetal alchemists brotherhood. For those who have watched or read it, you will probably understand what I'm going to say more people who haven't. I like to think that this anime actually proposes quite interesting and intense theme, such as mortality, humanity, worth, and how much lives really means. Like could you actually put a worth on life? This anime when I first watched it (I have watched it a few times) was quite comical, and had lots of funny parts. But when re-watching it I wondered if a portion the comedy was there to help distance from some of the intense theme.

Chimi could just be over thinking everything, I like my take on it, but comment or message me your own views (and I mean on everything not just the anime).

It's ok not to be ok! It's ok to talk! If you need anyone to listen to you, then just message me. I may not BEABLE to reply straight away, but I will definitely reply before 24 hours (probably before 12 hours).

Hope you have a great day, week, month, year! Chimi out~

Song above- Roar by Katy Perry