Fighting the Darkness

Prologe (Let me know if i should continue!)

School was my escape from family/home problems, the destruction of a broken family.

School was an alternate life to me. Escape from the pain tears and fear.

At school I could pretend. Not saying I was lying, but I guess in a sense I was...

In school I was always "happy" faking a smile when behind the mask I was broken and crying.

Though I was pretending to be happy I wouldn't consider it lying because I was trying to push through my pain and sadness to be the person I wanted to be.

Happy. Cheerful. Positive. Determined.

I pulled it off for a while. Only those who truly knew me knew my pain and struggle.

Soon the charade had to end.

I got older and started to feel the weight on my shoulders increase causing me to be less tuned in at school.

I started to slip. People noticed I wasn't acting the same. My smile wasn't sincere anymore.

People tried to help and talk to me. Few actually succeeded, but those who did were of a lot of help.

I had to stand up and face what was wrong and try to get out.

With a little of help from a few school support people I was getting ready to leave after I had finally stood up to my mom.

Soon I was leaving. The only life I had ever known. Leaving behind people I truly cared about including my little brother and sister...

I was scared.

New state. New school. New friends. New family..

Well basically cause I didn't know my dad well at all. New life totally. Going in blind.

About six months things went fine I was settling in.. But what I knew little of was the storm headed my way.

Fast.

It was going to hit hard.

When it did, I lost myself and who I was.

I didn't smile much.

I got into drugs and my schooling started to slip... My whole world seemed to go dark.

I didn't know what was going on. But I new it was wrong.

And tearing me apart almost literally.

My memory fades in in out. My mind blocks these horrific events out that I don't wanna think about.

Before I knew it I was being questioned by Cops.

They wanted to know it all. Everything. Even the small details my mind had blocked out.

I couldn't speak.

My stomach felt like a bomb exploded inside.

My chest felt like someone had stabbed me.